Evening routine when nursery finished at 6pm

[LovelySunset]

I’ve recently returned to work after maternity leave and trying to get into a better routine.

We get home from nursery by about 6.30pm, and by the time we’ve finished cooking, eating, bath and brushing teeth it’s 8-8.30pm, then story and breastfeed so she’s asleep by about 9pm.

Would love to hear others evening routines and how people manage to get their toddlers in bed by 7/8pm. I’m trying to work out what we’re doing wrong!

Edit: sorry about the typo in the title, should be when nursery finishes at 6pm.

That is late. If she’s leaving nursery late aren’t they giving her tea? Then you can go straight into bedtime routine when you get home.

if not, give dc a quicker tea (pasta, omelette, sandwich) and bring everything else forward.

Mine eats at nursery at about 4pm so doesn’t have a full meal afterwards, could you do that? It would save a lot of time. An easy supper like porridge or egg and toast or pre-prepped pasta salad would cut down on loads of time.

As long as the routine is calm, it sounds ok OP. It’s all very well saying start bedtime as soon as you get home but then you get zero time with your child.
Kids in Mediterranean countries go to sleep at 9 or later and are fine. You don’t need ‘adult time’ at home so enjoy spending it with your kid, having fun bathtime, wind down etc.
You are doing fine. I really appreciate hardworking mums.

Is there a reason you want bedtime earlier (such as toddler is over tired) or do you just "feel" it should be earlier. Those who have their toddlers tucked up in bed by 7 aren't the same ones getting home at 6.30pm.

Mine eats at nursery around 4pm. I finish work at 5.30, nursery in very local so there 5.45, home before 6pm. She has a snack (bread sticks, fruit, cheese, crackers etc) and snuggle on couch, bath at 6.30, out bath and into PJ's at 7. Milk and 2 stories and into cot for 7.20. She puts herself to sleep. We then cook and sit down to eat together at 8.

Id be concerned your nursery is open that late without giving dinner, is that normal?

We get home around 6 and then play/read. He has a snack around 6.30. He normally isn’t that hungry because of food at nursery, so it’ll be a bit of pasta or toast or yoghurt and fruit. He then has bath around 6.45 and will be in bed by 7.30.

Straight onto play and bedtime routine. So play between 6:30-7, then into bed and asleep by 7:30. Whoever isn't doing bedtime that night cooks the grown up dinner.

Sometimes I have a small snack in the car for toddler to eat on way home so they are ready for bed

Does she have tea at nursery at 4pm?
In which case it’s a quick sandwich plus some fruit and crudités at home (which you can prepare in the morning if you are more organised than me), skip the bath on nursery nights, into PJs, story, bed by 8pm.

that is all doable in 90mins.
and then adult(s) eat at 8/830 if nothing was in the instant pot / slow cooker ready for when you got home at 630pm.

the other adult (if there is one) should do adult dinner whilst one parent does bedtime. Or tag team it.

tbh your routine and bedtime sound fine unless you are getting up at 6am so toddler is not getting much sleep.

if wake up is 8am then probably ok as you are.

adult time is over rated and a nonsense tbh for weeknights when you have 2 working parents and a child in nursery.

My DD (3) eats at nursery and we are usually home by 6-6.30. We go straight into the bedtime routine when we get home. She is first offered a snack in case she is still hungry. Then a bottle of milk and into bedclothes. We then read her a story and have cuddles and she is usually asleep by 7-7.30.

I think what you’re doing is fine. People who have babies in bed for 7pm either don’t feed them dinner (they have it at nursery) or they pick up much earlier.

As a toddler, 8/8:30pm was probably standard bedtime for us. We got home maybe 5:30, 1-1.5 hours to get everyone in the door, sorted, cook dinner, we’d eat 6:30-7pm ish. Usually bathtime by 7:30, asleep by 8:30 ish.

As long as everyone is happy, it’s fine. It was much more important to have a proper hot cooked family dinner than to rush everyone to bed with a piece of toast.

Nursery dinners are woeful. Or at least some are! Some days ours is just a bagel or something. My three year old would be ravenous without something else!

I wouldn’t do a nighttime bath if she’s not home until 6:30. You don’t have enough time. Have something in the slow cooker? You need quick food, and then into wind down stories, teeth, bedtime.

I wouldn't cook after nursery. I'd offer a light tea or something reheated. I'd be looking to move upstairs around 7pm.

Bath, teeth, breastfeed, story takes an hour and in bed for 8pm.

I think you'll struggle to do it much earlier than that, maybe 7:30pm if you make it a very light tea and are quick with the bath.

We are normally home at about 6pm, we immediately play / read / cuddle then dinner about 6:30 which is normally either a light snack or something batch cooking reheated from the freezer. I bought loads of tiny tupperwares so always have a supply of good easy meals to reheat for my toddler.
We've stopped doing a bath every night, and our routine is then bath / play / book / bed and normally in bed before 7:30. Ours settle to sleep herself very quickly so actually the going to bed part is very quick

My kids nurseries were open until 6/630 - had a filling tea sort of thing around 4 but my kids always had dinner at home after as they were always hungry.

for routine - we never cooked during the week, batch cooked on the weekend and heated up in the microwave. So home for 630, dinner done by 7, bath every other night and bed for 730.

Thanks everyone this is really helpful.

Nursery do an afternoon snack around 4pm, how hungry DD is in the evening varies. We tend to all eat together and I’ll go to bed around the same time as DD as I get sleepy breastfeeding in a dark room and it is 9pm so not that early (7pm would be different).

We usually wake her around 7-7.15am and she is often a bit grumpy about this so I’m worried she’s not getting enough sleep and that we need to get her to bed a bit earlier. She might just have inherited DH’s dislike of mornings!

We don’t have a slow cooker but could buy one if it would help. I do wake early most days and suppose I could use that time to prep dinner.

We pick up at 6. Home 6:15. They have a big hot lunch and small meal at 4 (pitta/sandwich/omelette.) She has cereal/toast/sausage roll for dinner or on days husband is wfh he’s chucked jacket potatoes in the oven and we have those together. We bath every other night so those nights in bath by 6:50. Teeth and few stories, bed 7:30.

This was our routine - you just have to be quick. She's eating a meal at nursery so doesn't need another full cooked meal at home - just do a quick sandwich/snack plate, and either you both have a very quick meal if you're starving, or one does bedtime and the other cooks a proper dinner. We took it in turns and tbh ate a lot of pizza and meals like scrambled eggs on toast or sausages and frozen mash. Going to bed at 9pm isn't sustainable long-term, you won't have any time to yourselves (though I totally get it if she's still up in the night).

If she's tired when she's woken up she does need more sleep. Even taking it back half an hour might help - our usual bedtime was (and actually still is) 8.15-8.30 and that's fine. When it stretches to 9pm my son is a grump, even now at 6.

Our routine was home 6.15, quick meal, TV, crazy time while the bath is running, bath 7.15, bedtime routine, usually asleep by 8.15.

My feeling is that 1.5-2 hours between getting home and finishing dinner/bath is a long time.

We usually get the kids home at about 6 and have dinner on the table within 15 minutes. They spend 30 minutes at the table max, then they have a bath or shower and are in bed having a story shortly after 7, lights out at 7:30.

We don't usually eat dinner with them, and they have very simple, easy dinners. If we're making something from scratch then it's usually pasta with tomato sauce, smoked salmon and scrambled eggs or coucous with ratatouille from a jar. Then they have a yoghurt or a piece of cheese and some fruit for dessert. It's generally less than two hours and usually more like 90 minutes from getting in the door to lights out.

It’s tricky juggling it all isn’t it.

On the days we have to pick up later we do:
Pick up nursery and both kids home by 6, something easy to eat within 15 minutes just for the kids, a bit of play fun with one parent while the bath is running/the other parents sorting out pjs etc, then bath and swap parents, the other parent then sorts out the bags for the next day, then a bit of bedtime story..usually sit in the living room and read together as the older one likes to help now with reading (ds is 8, toddler just turned 2), then one parents does bed for the smallest one around 7.15, asleep by 7.30 and the other parent reads with the oldest one and they go to bed around 7.30/7.40. We then eat dinner once the kids are in bed.

what we do doesn’t work for everyone as some people might want to eat together every evening meal and it means we are hungry sometimes, but normally we make easy meals that are ready in half an hour even when they’re from scratch. Then the days I wfh I have more time to meal prep and we can try and have meals together than as a family, same at the weekend.

Edited to add: toddler still has milk to go to sleep with so that is part of their routine too but in their room just before they go to sleep.

My daughter was in nursery until 6. One of us did pick up and the other cooked dinner. We would usually do double portions so we didn't have to cook every day. We would do double portions on both Saturday and Sunday which did Monday and Tuesday. I didn't work Wednesday so that did Wednesday and Thursday and we would do something easier on a Friday.

My daughter had sandwich and fruit usually at 3ish. She didn't have a full meal but she would have a bit of our dinner. She has allergies so it was a bit tricky but she'd usually have some pasta, a bit of chicken and some peas. We had quick cook pasta so if the chicken had been cooked already it only took a few minutes to prepare. Some times she had some toast of crumpets or if not particularly hungry she would have a few water crackers and some cucumber.
We ate at 6.15-6.20. usually done by 6.45 then we would do my daughters medication. Then we went up to bed at 7. PJs, teeth, one book on the floor with her oat milk then in bed for a second book then sleep time. Usually around half 7. She would go to sleep between 8 and 9.

She's at school now and after school club is until 6 but you have to pay extra if in after 5.15 so often she would be the only one left so we would try to get her at 5.45. She now needs a full meal as she just gets some crackers and a bit of fruit at after school club. We go up at 6.45 now as she does her reading homework when we first go up, do an extra story before we do PJ's to help her decompress from the day and then the nursery bedtime routine.

Being organised makes a difference. We don't open her curtains so her room is always dark when we go in which actually made a huge difference when we started it one summer. Going up when its not completely dark made her think it was play time not bed time. As soon as we go up we get the pjs out get her changed. Whilst one of us is getting her changed the other gets the tooth brush ready. If we are efficient there's then a little bit of time for playing for 10 minutes but not until she's ready and if she's slow or messing around she knows that their won't be time for playing.
We keep her out of her play room when we get home from nursery too. We have a few toys that she can play with at the dining table and once she was about 3 she enjoyed a quick video call with her granny whilst we sorted dinner.

We only bathed once a week and a shower after swimming mid week. We'd struggle to get her to bed at a sensible time if we bathed her every night as baths make her hyper and needs running around time afterwards which we just don't have time for.

DC never had full meals after nursery; egg on toast, porridge, sandwich, picky plates etc, or leftovers heated up. Quick and bathed, and bed.

We ate separately; we made up for this at weekends.

We are home half hour earlier but we would still get bed within an hour. We don’t bath every night - this gets easier as they get a little older. If it’s needed can you do it in the morning? Otherwise I’d suggest:

• 6.30-6.45 a quick supper - weetabix, yogurt, banana, toast, milk. A full meal shouldn’t be needed.
• 6.45-7.10 quick bath time
• 7.10-7.30 dressed and milk before bed

I would skip bedtime stories for now too and keep those for the weekend. Your little one must be very tired as I assume you need to get up early.

Just sort adult meals after she’s in bed. We are only just considering family meals post nursery and our child is nearly 4. Even so I think it would make bedtime too late so haven’t done it yet. We do them at the weekend

My children who weren’t in nursery had a similiar bedtime while they still napped durring the day. With night time sleep and naps are they getting enough sleep?

We get home at 5:30pm, cook dinner and eat dinner from 6-6:30pm. Then it’s up for bath, books and bed which unfortunately are taking ages at the moment but that’s another story.

The early dinner is as more for us than DD. There’s no way I could handle bedtime on an empty stomach and I am tired and hungry when I get home. I have much more patience for bedtime battles with a full stomach. I would hate to eat at 9pm after DD finally falls asleep and then still have to clean up. Everyone suggesting the OP eat later are not considering they may actually want to eat early. If you eat before bedtime the other parent can clean up during bedtime and you can both relax before going to bed even if it’s only for 1hr.