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Single Parent, clingy child

2 replies

Slowway · 28/03/2025 22:04

My youngest son is 10. It's just us at home, as my eldest lives away for university. Youngest son sees his dad 8 hours a month, the rest of the time we are together. I go to work, come home and we're together constantly aside from this.
Recently, I've been having a few issues with his attitude towards me. My eldest son was home for a visit this week and ended up having a serious word with him about the way he speaks to me and ignoring anything I ask of him.
I went out for a very, very rare tea with my best friend and was gone three hours. I came home and he was instantly "hug me mummy", or "kiss me mummy", as well as "you went out without me, I don't like that." It's the first time I've been anywhere since I don't know when. He's ended up getting himself so worked up, he was sick.
I've struggled a lot the last 12 months, due to the constant overwhelm of working full time, mum life full time with no break and the constant demands and refusal of doing anything I ask. It was so nice to get away for a short time and just be me. Then I come home to the guilt and him making himself ill.
My question is, how do I handle this? It's not healthy for a child to be so reliant on a parent that they make themselves ill. He would have also have been worked up about being spoken to about his behaviour, but in honesty, he needs to be told what a hard working mum he has, and so I don't feel bad for him being held responsible for his attitude towards me.
Every day is a battle of him refusing to listen and then consequences if I have a brief break or someone defends me. I honestly feel like I'm going to crack up. Please help.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
carly2803 · 28/03/2025 22:21

does he do any before/after school clubs?

i would start there, get playdates with other kids in his class

enrol him at clubs for confidence

assuming no SN?

Slowway · 28/03/2025 22:29

@carly2803 I signed him up to swimming lessons but he point blank refuses to go. He's in afterschool club every day because of the hours I work. We do sometimes see friends, but I'm the only single one and they mostly want to do things with their own partners over the weekend. I feel like I'm losing it. If I go on my phone he hates it. If I sit on my bed for some peace he starts calling me lazy. I don't know how to carry on, I feel so suffocated.

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