Hardest point of having a 2 year age gap?

[SaraRae]

I have two kids just over 2 years apart. I found it difficult in the early days with a newborn and a toddler but that was to be expected and it wasn’t too bad. I kept thinking a year or two in it was bound to be a lot easier. We’re coming up on 2 years in and I’m finding it so so hard. It feels like it gets more difficult every week but now no one helps or gives you any kind of sympathy the way they do in the early days because it’s ‘supposed’ to be easier now. Everything is a battle, everything in my house gets ruined, smashed, pulled out cupboards etc and I can’t turn my back for a second. I work part time and I’m studying for uni at nights when the kids are in bed. I feel like I’m on my knees. When my husband comes in at night it’s a 2 man job to get them ready for bed and he doesn’t really ever take over and do it himself.

I’m so patient but after this morning’s chaotic nursery drop off for the eldest I actually sat and had a cry in the car about the fact I’m just finding it so so hard and can only see it getting worse as my youngest turns 2. I love them to bits but I’m just finding it really hard now. Did anyone else find this? When does it get easier? 😬

Honestly, it's pretty tricky until everybody is in school, once the first one goes though it is much, much easier.

Mine are 11 & 13 now and an absolute dream, they've been that way for a long time, so although the early days are fairly brutal, it's also short & sharp!

I found it got easier about the time you are in now. Basically when the younger one started to talk and the older one decided she was worth playing with! They actually played together nicely for about 20 minute stretches sometimes and it felt like a miracle.

Also just in practical terms it’s much easier once both are out of nappies and (for me) once the naps had gone because naps were always a battle with my two.

The constant watching stays for a while though tbh and bedtime is hard for a while too. Your DH needs to man up and take them off your hands so you can study.

Things die down once both are potty trained and both are in primary school. The hardest bit is probably when one is doing GCSEs in the same year that the other is doing A Levels. 😵‍💫

Hey there! Oh girl, I totally get you. Two little ones that are close in age is seriously tough work! Don't let anyone tell you it should be easy now. Toddler years are wild! And with work and studying on top of that? You're amazing!

It sounds like you're carrying a huge load. Maybe try to have a really open and honest chat with your husband when you both have a moment. Let him know exactly how you're feeling and what you're struggling with. Sometimes, just voicing it out loud can make a big difference, and hopefully, you can brainstorm together on how he can step in more and share the load, especially during those crazy bedtime routines. Even small changes can make a big difference.

Hang in there! You're doing great, even when it feels crazy. Sending you a big hug! ❤

Ooh yeah I have a two year gap and having a 2 year old and a 4 year old is hard!!!

Now mine are 7 and 5 it’s absolutely lovely! They are so close.

I don’t really have much practical advice except be kind to yourself but I’d definitely say it’s gets easier as time goes by.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply to a stranger having a bad day! It’s the weekend now so the pressure is off a bit and we will face next week when it comes 😅 thank you

The stage you are in is hard but the period where they are both in primary is the golden era. Young enough to want to spend time with you but old enough to dress, toilet and feed themselves and don’t need constant eyes on.
In the meantime put away anything that hasn’t already been broken.

I have a 7 and 5 year old now and most of the time, it’s easier than it was. A boy and a girl. They’re generally very close- l often find them snuggled up in bed- but when in the car it can be tricky!!

the earlier days were tricky- especially trying to cooking dinner with a screaming baby and toddler on the loose, but it gets so much easier! Now they’re both in primary school it’s a breeze but I miss those early days of chaos and wish I could relive them.

days out, holidays, days at home are easy… they play well together and are the best of friends (deep down! 😵‍💫😆)

Wait until it’s A levels and GCSEs that’s fun

Your post took me back OP. Mine are 9 and 7. My absolute worst age was 1 and 3, closely followed by 3 and 5 - I just really am not a fan of 3 year olds 😂

Once the youngest started school it felt easier and I appreciate that feels like a long way off but honestly, it feels to me like the other day I'd cry in the car after the nursery run!

I have also found it a great age gap as they've got older. They are now at an age where we can take them to the same things and they both enjoy it, they enjoy the same things on TV etc, it has come together.
Not sure if any of this is helpful but I think sometimes it helps just knowing it isn't you X

From your title, I was going to say financially supporting two at a time through University, followed closely by the emotional rollercoaster that is one doing GCSEs whilst one does A levels.

But from your opening post, my reply is everything @BearClaire said.

Having a baby and a toddler is hard work. Studying on top of that is ambitious.
Physically and mentally, these are the hardest years. Sleep deprivation makes an already tough job even harder.

I found teens the hardest stage 😬they fought constantly it was so draining. It’s a shame because they were great pals when they were younger but they don’t remember any of that. Just who stole who’s make up or ruined their clothes.