What time should A 12 year old be home by?

[Moominmama0]

A 12 year old in year 8. Asking to go out at 7.00pm as seen friends out . I don't know what to do, I have seen drug dealings in the area and there are always drug raids/ arrests in this area too. Some have been exploiting 12 year olds.
I'm not keen but I also realise I need to let go and let him have some independence. I am very over protective.

Depends what they’re doing. Hanging around aimlessly - back by 6, even when older than 12. At known friends house, doing known activity, gym session, scouts, cinema - home whenever said activity finishes, so maybe 9pm.

Its not the age per se, it’s the activity and company that determines home time.

What is he going out to do? I have never allowed going out beyond 7.30 just to hang around. My mother never allowed that with us either.
Going to play football or another sport/game, going to sports centre, someone’s house or garden etc all fine. But I wouldn’t want them hanging around. In some areas the streets become different places in the evenings.

When my youngest was 12 nearly 10 years ago my son used to meet up with friends and had to be back on a weekend at 8.30pm. During the week he had footy training so usually it was only Friday or Saturday. They were in a safe place and always had a phone in case of a problem.

You need to build up some trust with him, and let him build up some street smarts gradually.

Clocks change this weekend, so it'll be lighter for longer, which will probably decrease the 'drug dealings' you've seen anyway, and will probably make you and him feel a bit safer.

I'd start with letting him out whilst it's light, say until for an hour or two, til 8 or 8:30pm. Then as he builds up that trust and proves he'll be back in time, you can allow him to earn extra time (ideally you want to line this up for the summer holidays or weekends, so he's not too tired for school). You can also set some additional boundaries around where he is allowed to go, or checking in with you after a certain amount of time if you feel the need.

If it's him being out late you're feeling uneasy with, could you encourage him to go out earlier, or arrange to meet with his friends in the afternoon or just after school, so he get's a few hours out, but is back in by 7ish?