Nursery and 2.5 year old

[mumof2wife]

I’ve noticed over the last few weeks my toddler being very very quiet and shy when going into nursery
she’s been going there since she was 1 and apart from the first month while she was settling she is so excited to the point where she runs in and gives the door nursery lady a huge cuddle - she absolutely loves it there

lately shes very subdued, shy and no cuddles or greeting like she used to do and we’ve not had a chat with them until today when I collected her and she came out very very sullen and looked like as if she had just that second been told off, she then came out and just burst into tears. I then mentioned she is quiet at drop off and this is very unlike her and they agreed but also brushed it off by saying it’s development at this stage, while this may well be the case I also have a gut feeling that something may be wrong. My husband feels the same who does some drop off and pick ups. We were planning on just monitoring it to see but maybe think we would have a chat with the manager?
what’s everything’s thoughts on this? Anyone had anything similar if it is an age/developmen T stage? Also mindful that I don’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill
other than this she is happy there and the staff seem great with her
we’ve just noticed that the last few weeks the staff seem almost tired and sort of peed off
the atmosphere seems very strange and can’t pin point it
To add content it’s a tiny nursery, 3 staff and normally one door person but we interact with the staff a lot as there are only 3
my daughter is very articulate and can talk very well in little sentences but also she is too young to be able to explain fully obviously
I don’t want to question her but something’s definitely shifted
thank you for reading

I’d monitor, and ask dd (gently) if she likes nursery . If no improvements in a few days I’d speak to manager. My DS started saying he wasn’t enjoying nursery. I spoke to manager, she observed him and reported back to us how he was doing. He had recently moved rooms and needed a bit of time to settle.
But if nothings changed at nursery or at home I’d assume there has been some sort of incident possibly with another child. I wouldn’t be fobbed off with developmental stage.

Thank you,when I’ve asked her she talks about the other children there ( has one best friend who we see outside of nursery ) she loves the children but she’s definitely stopped being herself around the staff and door person in particular who is the manager. So hard at this age when she can’t properly tell me. I agree I think development is a brush off, she’s not like it anywhere else and is a loud confident toddler so it’s really unusual this behavior. Thank you for the advice I shall definitely see how she is next week

I'd pull her out. You can clearly see that this place is having a negative effect on your daughter. Do not continue to send her there.

This happened by daughter. Her favourite nursery worker had left and it took her a long time to adjust. I think any little changes for them can take a long time to adjust. Maybe ask the manager so you can figure what what changes have happened?

I think there are a lot of steps that can be taken before having to remove her. It's not always as simple as my daughter is unhappy, I'm removing her. It could be a very simple fix if they talk to the nursery workers!

I agree to having a chat to see what’s happening but I’m prepared to pull her out because my gut is telling me something is off, not just my daughter going through some sort of developmental stage….thing is although I’ve not had an official chat just a door update there was a conversation about it yesterday (due to her coming out the way she did) and it was a case of them saying oh well nothings happened here and I wonder what’s wrong kind of thing, it’s just unsettled me/hubby so much that yes of course I’ll be moving her in a heartbeat if I knew for sure but we live in the sticks and finding a new nursery and new work hours etc - don’t get me wrong I will do it in a heartbeat but it’s a massive upheaval to then settle into a new nursery etc if I don’t need to. So definitely a chat is in order. My husband said he wasn’t happy with this and they need to be reassuring us otherwise she will be coming out, the limited chat we’ve had so far has been a tad defensive on their side - ie well nothings happened here how’s things at home? Etc

And because there are only 3 of them and tiny nursery it’s makes it difficult ( one room no room to move to and no key worker to change etc ) the manager is the door person and the main manager is at another site in another county

Are you able to speak to any of the other parents? (Dd friend perhaps) and see if they've noticed anything or have similar issues?

I’ve spoken to one parent - I don’t know anyone else where she does private hours out drop off is different times so I never see anyone, the one parent I do know has noticed the staff seem less enthusiastic at the door - my husband thinks they are knackered ! And I don’t blame them

We're going through the same with our two year old. Some nursery workers have changed or moved rooms, as well as some of his little friends having moved rooms. He's now in the process of moving up to the older room and it's really thrown him. I think it's been a lot of change for him to process. He's mostly upset going in (used to run in and didn't look back), but seems to settle quite quickly. He sometimes becomes a bit overwhelmed during the day and the nursery are doing what they can to comfort him and keep us up to date. I think it's just taking a bit of time to adjust. We really underestimated how much change can impact him.

Edit: cross posted. I see there's been no change at the nursery in your case.

Absolutely have a proper chat with the nursery staff, but I would also have a casual chat with your daughter. Yes, she's wee, but she's old enough to potentially tell you something useful (or perhaps not, but you won't know if you don't try). Perhaps something like 'you don't seem to like nursery right now. Is something making you upset?' Or maybe ask about what makes her happy at nursery and what makes her unhappy.

Is she a child who picks up on adult emotions or the atmosphere? If the staff are knackered and stressed at the moment, it could be that she's picking up on that. A lot of nursery staff are quite stressed at the moment with funding pressures, I think.