Advice please - reception age child speaking about shooting the girls in his class and teacher

[Nonymous1]

Hello,

whilst putting my son to bed tonight (4), he confided in me with something his friend at school has been talking about.

He says that his friend (I will call him Tom) has told my son he plans to come to our house and steal my partners gun (he has a rifle for clay pigeon shooting), goto the school to shoot all the girls in the class and then shoot the class teacher. He then wants to destroy the school and the world.

this is not the first time Tom has mentioned this, I have overheard him myself say to my son he wants to destroy the school.

my son is currently awaiting an autism and adhd assessment and I am really worried how this may affect him. He seems to realise that what Tom is saying is bad, and even asked us to call the police. But he is also very easily influenced and he tends to mimic other children in his class, which is even more of a concern.

i have emailed his teacher explaining my concerns, but is there anything else i can do? Would this be a safeguarding issue? I am planning on arranging a meeting with his teacher and the headteacher to discuss how we move forwards. My son seems to gravitate towards Tom at school as he is loud and dare I say boisterous. I worry my son thinks he is “cool”

does anyone have any advice because I am deeply worried.

thanks

That’s a massive statement for a 4 year old. I’d be calling the school in the morning to ensure the child can get support.

This is a HUGE safeguarding issue. Please seek support immediately in the morning and go into school and speak to headteacher with your child. C
Safeguard your child and then rest if the children. Flag this immediately

You’ve done the right thing. Do you know the parents - can you speak to them?

Ok. Yes I’ll do that. Thank you

i do but I wouldn’t feel comfortable confronting them to be honest. I don’t think they would take it well and may make problems for us.

I wouldn’t speak to the parents. I would speak to the designated safeguarding lead and head teacher at school tomorrow. That is an incredibly worrying thing for a four year old to say.

This isn’t America, FFS

That would be a spectacularly bad thing to do.

You've done the right thing emailing the school, OP.

It’s concerning to think where this child has got these ideas. I hated hearing it come out of my boys mouth. Just the worst thing as he is still so innocent and naive to the world - as children of his age should be

do NOT speak to the parents
as PP have said speak to the school at the earliest opportunity

as for your son, I would try to both stress the gravity of what Tom said but also its unlikelyness
gosh, what an awful thing- just think how sad all the mums and dads would be, and all the other children too, but of course Tom is only a little boy and he could never really do such a terrible thing- lets not think about that now, lets (insert favourite activity) instead

you could also say

but the teachers at school are all there to keep everyone safe, so you don't even need to think about that...

This is really helpful. Thank you! I will chat with him about it over breakfast.

Tom is only 4, and maybe watching inappropriate TV, but no one is at risk from him. I think telling the school is a good idea, in case he needs support with anger management, and so they can keep an eye as he gets older.

I think you should ask the teacher to sit your son in a different group from Tom, as you want him to make other friends and you feel he's focusing too much on Tom for friendship. You could ask other kids around to play after school, so that your son can make other friends.

I think @northwestgirl's advice is very good.

I can understand that view. I had something like this when DS was four I went straight to school. Parent then found out I had done that and was extremely upset I had not informed them. In that situation again I would tell parent and school…

Reality ( and common sense) check, he is a 4 year old prattling!

The little boy is clearly talking nonsense, as little ones do, my concern as a DSL would not be in that little boy whatsoever, no one is radicalising 4 year olds and he can't yield a gun, let alone steal one.

My interest would be in if he had older siblings, from whom he may have overheard such a plan - but it is also entirely possible he's just overheard the news recently and made up a nonsense yarn.

Quiet word with the DSL at the school, if they are any good they will follow through and no one will ever know you mentioned it, and in all likelihood its nothing, but you will have done the right thing.

Are you from Luton? Could the child have picked up on anything? if you’re from the area, you’ll know what I’m referring to. Could the child have heard conversations between parents or similar?