How competent is your DH at the school run?

[isaidno]

I am 33 weeks pregnant. DS1 is nearly 5, so in reception at school. DS2 is 3 and goes to pre school 2 mornings a week.

This morning I told DH he could practise getting DS1 ready for school (no pre school today.) He agreed but I could tell he didn't want to / thinks I'm worrying over nothing.

Well, he did get DS1 to school on time, but had to wake me up to ask what went in the lunch box (I told him last night.)

DS1 has excema so last night I also reminded him what cream went where in what order. I showed him how to bandage the bad bits on his hands. DH could not do this with any confidence, so I had to cut my shower short to supervise.

They had to rush out the door - DH wasn't dressed himself at 8:25am (more questions - does DS need his sweatshirt / hat / etc?) DS2 was still in his pj's when obviously he would normally have to be dressed too and come on the school run with me, even on a non pre school day.

DH went to back to bed at 9:45 am.

So, after all that, my question is - is this average / good / bad? I am planning a home birth but I am expecting DH to take over mornings while he has 2 weeks paternity leave. When I have been up half the night with a newborn I do not want to be disturbed with questions I feel he should be able to deal with himself. And what if I have to go to hospital anyway?

DP does the morning run most days since DC4 was born, and is great at it. Takes the older two DSs to school, then comes back for DD. But I do lay the uniform out the night before, make the lunches the night before and do their drinks and snacks in the morning. And apply suncream, and find hats.

But he gets out fo the door OK!

Ummm, is the persistent questioning actually him saying in a round about way that he doesn't want to do it?

Isn't this just an extended case of "if I do it badly she'll take over".

And whats with the nap, hell, if I had a lie down after every child related activity I'd spend the majority of my life horizontal!

it sounds like you've always done everything
you need to take a step back with the 3rd baby on the way

start leaving him with the kids for a haircut etc so that he has to learn to cope

LOL at "mum friends"

dh has never done the school run

but if he had to, I would leave him a list and then he would sort it out from there

isaidno - make a wish list, if he does half on it, great

next time it will be 75%, aiming for 100%

I remember everything as it is second nature now, it wasn't at first

Lol Malory. My dh does not know the names of the mums or whose kid is who. If I say Bob's Mum he has no clue who I mean unless I say 'the one with the big nose'

My dh does school run once a week and is fine.

dh is excellent. apart from the one minor flaw of never knowing what day it is. He packs swimming on judo day and drama folder on swimming day etc.

Dh does the run three mornings a week and is great. A bit just-in-time in terms of actually getting out of bed, but we have all the gym kit etc shenanigans marked on one of those bossy calendars and this helps everyone.
It is pricelessly advantageous to have dcs who are either old enough to genuinely remember what's going on each day, or small but assertive
Dh has his "mum friend" gang as well. I of course never pass on the admiring feedback I receive about his ability to walk 100m up the road with two children and two bags
We have lots of dads too Fennel. Fewer at pick-up time however

Oh yes, why do women fawn over men who do school run 'isnt he marvelous etc.'

Gets my goat

Didn't know I had a goat.

dh was stressed at first, i told him
her shoes are black but have a different name to hers in them
put sandwiches in fridge
drink on trolley
class fruit in bowl
he then spends half hour chatting to EVERYONE, he gets invited to things i never do, we fight over it now.

We moved away from DD's school to a village and since DP has done the school run, but up until a few weeks ago I used to get up and get DD ready whilst he got dressed, then I had our third DC so am shattered when they are getting up and don't see the point in getting out of bed to help, he is capable after all.

But, DD's hair is forgotten probably 30% of the time, both by him and by her, yesterday I picked her up and noticed she had pink socks on
ME:'Didn't you wear those socks yesterday DD?'
DD:'yes, it was quicker to wear them again today though, cos I wore them in bed last night' (and that's even after I had put clean white ones in her room with her dress!).

So though DP does it daily, I think I was much better when I did it, he has forgotten her packed lunch on one occasion as well and I had to call the school to ask them to give her a school dinner.

What doesn't help I suppose is that both Dd and DP seem to have their head in the clouds in the morning so I try to make sure everything is out for her when I go to bed.

Not bad. Providing I have got the DCs lunches and other paraphenalia ready. There is a possiblity that they might leave the house with unbrushed hair and teeth . And bit late. But with practice I'm sure that would come.

well, after his long nap DH has agreed he needs more practice, so next Monday is the retrial. I will make some lists for him.
Thanks for everyone's responses.

However after 16 years training I should bloody well hope so!!

Actually reading this I realise how good my DH is at the Daddy stuff. We do share the school runs, & he is good at getting them ready when he has to. He gets more lie-ins but TBH he does shifts so comes in at silly o'clock some nights/mornings so I often get the kids/pack-ups etc ready & then he gets up just before they need to be off. He has nit -combed when they were small, bakes bread & does most things unprompted. (but not neccessarily in the order I'd get things done so I have a degree in biting my lip ) He takes them out if I need time to study/clear up/ & usually remembers school letters/appts.

Pity his husband skills aren't so good ....but hey you can't have everything!!

Dh does the majority (OK then, all ) the morning getting ready and school run stuff for ds (7). I am sooooo not a morning person, and dh and ds oth are. Ds even comes through at 7.30 to tell me it is time to get up!

However, when dh is away for wahtever reason, then I do get ds sorted - and he has never been late with either of us.

It really bugs dh that people always go on about how "good" he is - or alternatively, make disparaging comments about men "never" pulling thier weight in front of him.

It also irritiates him that on the Parent Council, people are always worrying about the lack of ethnic representation - yet he is the only man on the council and no-one seems to be bothered that 50% of the parents are not repsersented.

With regard to the OP - let your dh practice and I am sure he will get the hang of it. It was just 'cos you where there that he could come and ask you questions. If you hadn't been there, he would have coped - he's have had to.

DH gets the children's breakfast,but generally leaves for work before it's time to leave for school. He will do it if I am ill. He doesn't know what activities are on what day, so has to ask re tennis/football kit, but remembers bookbag and gets them in on time.

I get the DDs ready for school and nursery. DH does the nursery run, I do the school run. Last week I was away and he had his parents down to help - MIL did breakfast, FIL did school run. They still ended up going with hair all over the place (class assistant told me it was v.amusing to see DD1's crazy hairstyles!) and one day DD2 went to nursery in PJ bottoms. Ultimately, though, does it matter? They got to school, not in the way I would do it, but they were there on time, fed and happy. It is a matter of just getting the hang of it. (I did write a list though!)

Mine has to do it for 3 days a week as I leave the house hours before kids are up. I used to leave him detailed lists and when he first started he would do things like forget to feed one of them. Now he gets ds ready for school and dd to nursery and is still in work for 9.00.

Must say the lunch box proved too much for him and ds now has school dinners.

DP is competent.

Of course he is...and we chop and change depending on who has to be out early etc.

Your DH needs to take his confidence and common sense in both hands and get on with it! Ask him how you can best assist him to be able to do it - checklist or a few mornings doing it together?

But don't let him faff around and talk himself out of the responsibility, it's hardly rocket science.