Parents evenings and events with ex

[Mummaonherown]

Hi,

I just wanted to get some advice and find out how others do these events with ex partners.
I have limited contact with my ex, he is in a new relationship loved up, blah blah.

Anyway our son is due to start school in September, and tbh I don't want the man anywhere near me, he's lied and cheated I don't need to have a relationship with him, he barely co parents, refuses to do medation and does what he wants.
I've given up the fight in that respect but I will be civil in front of my son.
My son has his last nursery parents evening coming up next month, my ex wants to attend with me I have stated we can do them separately.
I have said if he wants to come to school events, I'm not stopping him - but I can't bear to be next to him, and I know he will try and talk to me more than he should do.

How to manage this or am I being silly, should I just suck it up for the day.

If your ex has parental responsibility then you can't stop him from attending (unless there's a reason like domestic abuse). With regards to events like nativity plays etc, there's no reason why you need to go or sit together but you can't stop him from approaching you to speak to you, so you may need to be polite. Or insist on boundaries prior to the event, but that may not be possible if you barely communicate. Parents evening is different, so you may need to speak to the school and find out how they usually handle these situations.

We do separate parents evenings. Most schools and nurseries will as they are used to it.

everything else we sit apart and teachers are aware we can not be near each other. Very very sad for the children but they adapt

I think ideally it’s best to try to do it together for the sake of the short period of time.

Many schools have a policy to not do more than one for a child because it’s not fair on the staff (unless abuse etc of course)

Just suck it up. It’s for 15 minutes or so. You say you want to be civil for your son but you’re being childish.

In the absence of issues like abuse and violence I really detest parents making everyone pander to their preferences like this. It’s a total waste of professionals time who are already stretched.

I have attended countless meetings for my DSS with my DH and DSS’ Mum. DH doesn’t like DSS’ Mum and she doesn’t like me but we can all sit and be civil for the length of
time required.

We used to attend together (they are now adults) but there was no cheating prior to the break up so I think that makes a difference.
if you can be civil to each other it is certainly easier and if the children get married or have children it makes it all a lot nicer.

you might find that he’s making a big thing of it now but in reality he won’t always show up anyway

@StarCourt that's what I think we well.
The last parents evening he sat on his phone the whole time, even in front of my son's key workers. They made a comment about it to me a few days later.
I'm currently blocked, he hasn't bothered to arrange contact with our son or set a calling schedule, despite me asking him to do so.
Not seen his son since 15th march or spoken to him so who knows.

I often go to events like this with my ex, we've been separated for ten years. He's with someone else but we still come together as parents for important things.

I wouldn’t worry then. If he doesn’t want to see his child anyway, I doubt he’s going to be bothered with parents evening.

Keep it lowkey. Don’t mention any of them to him. The chances of him sustaining interest long term in parents evening is low. Even Dh and I (happily married) draw straws to see who has to go. When the booking get released, you just go on and book your slot and let the school know you will attend alone. If he wants to book his own meeting, he can. I doubt he’ll be bothered after maybe the first one or two. Nativity play, school assemblies, etc. again he can decide for himself if he’s attending but you can ignore him.