Toddler constantly clenching and pinching

[Ellebel]

I have a 2.5 year old who is a big character. A lot of the time he’s a ray of sunshine but he has always suffered from extreme frustration. Tantrums come thick and fast, which in the most part I think is normal for his age. We have had on/ off struggles with him biting and hitting but for the last 6 ish months he is constantly pinching. It almost feels like a tic. He does it endlessly to me and Dad, sometimes other children at nursery. But now more concerning his 5 week old brother. It’s not always an aggressive thing, although it can be, but often it is like he can’t control himself and it’s an outlet for nervous/ excited energy. He can sometimes shake while doing it like he’s pouring all his strength into it. Problem is it hurts. And it doesn’t matter how many times we tell him not too. He keeps doing it all day long.

Has anyone experienced similar and has any advice? I can’t work out if it’s something he’ll eventually grow out of, or a sign he might have deeper sensory/ sen issues.

Thank you x

Yes I have and it’s a sensory thing and due to autism in my son’s case. Needs a good behavioural Peadiatric referral and occupational therapy sessions to help you help him. They will show you exercises and things to do to allow him to get his sensory input from that instead of hurting other people. Tantrums maybe not tantrums but meltdowns? Have you considered that other things may be going on with him?

I agree it could indicate a larger need, like @Nearly50omg says, but certainly it sounds like a sensory need right now. You could look at doing a developmental review with nursery and/or his health visitor to see if there are signs of something larger going on. An experience nursery worker can be an excellent judge of what's challenging but within the range of typical, and when there seems to be something more going on with a child. You can also get a pretty good sense by looking at this questionnaire for overall development (https://www.socfc.org/SOHS/Disabilities%20Mental%20Health/ASQ/ASQ%203%2030%20Months.pdf) and this one for social-emotional (https://www.socfc.org/SOHS/Disabilities%20Mental%20Health/ASQ/ASQ%20SE%2030%20Months.pdf). Do check the scoring sheets, though – they never expect 6 out 6 yeses in a section!

More immediately, I'd look for another way to meet that sensory need. Maybe try different stress balls and other fidget toys that are designed for squeezing and pinching? Say something like this: https://www.theworks.co.uk/p/fidget-toys/rainbow-ball/WKS_5060951157067.html? You might have to try a few to find one that feels right to him.

Does he like playdough, slime, kinetic sand? Trying to incorporate plenty of that type of play might also help, although obviously less portable that a stress ball. Our nursery virtually always have homemade playdough or a similar activity out – if yours is similar, they could potentially encourage him towards it when he's getting pinchy.

For nervous or excited energy, active play might help. We have a little inside trampoline that's great for this, but sprinting up and down the hallway also works, or a rapid fire game of 'Do star jumps! Run on the spot! Touch your toes!' etc.

How's his language? Can he say what he wants or what's upset him in a basic way?

@Nearly50omg @skkyelark thank you both so much for your responses, really helpful. I actually have a meeting with the health visitor next week for his new brother so am going to try and speak to them and start a referral process. Aside from the violence I haven’t noticed anything else, his language is great, he is able to express his emotions verbally, nursery have commented on how great his communication is for his age. He’s affectionate and has a great sense of humour. It really is just the squeezing tic, extreme frustration and mega outbursts (I’ve read up on it after this post and I do think they are tantrums not meltdowns) but I really am no expert so def time to speak to some professionals and helpfully get some help to better deal. And I’ve ordered a stress ball today for squeezing redirection! Thanks again both x