don't know if this is the right place but here go's

[notreal]

have namechanged because i know that i am going to sound very ungrateful.
i have a lo aged 2.7 who i never thought i would have and am also lucky enough to be a sahm but at the minute i just feel really down by everything it's like i am false the few people i know always say that i am like a yummy mummy but in a nice way that i always look 'put together' i do all my baking, cooking etc my lo friendly and polite and i really do love him but sometimes i feel like i just want to run away cos it's not real.
my dh made a joke this am about cutting the grass today and i just broke down and said yep that's the highlight of my day to which he is upset and gone off in a huff.
i try and do lots of stuff wih lo so it's not that-money is a bit tight- but we manage, so what is wrong -is it normal to feel like this sometimes or am i truly being ungrateful? i don't know if i have put this waffle very well at all

Hi notreal, I think we all probably have days/periods like this, when it's just a monotony and we lose ourselves in the mundane-ness of it all,

Can you make time to do something just for you? I find that even if I head out to the gym for an evening, I feel like I've had some time off and appreciate being a SAHM that little bit more the next day.

It's good to have something to look forward to, as well -

If you have felt this way for some time then perhaps you can go and have a chat to your HV in case you're feeling depressed.

I also find spending time with other people as well as my (wonderful) LOs helps keep me sane and in-touch with grown-up life.

HTH some, it's difficult isn't it? But so rewarding, in a "stand back and look at the bigger picture" way.

PS sorry it's a bit epic!

Also, I think I know how you feel re: it's all fake - I sometimes look at myself and can't believe I'm such a grown-up, sometimes feel like a kid playing house.

I think sometimes if you seem to be the "yummy mummy" more and more gets expected of you. which is tough because sometimes you want to be the one looked after.

What do you mean by "its not real"?

It is hard being a SAHM, as much as we love our DCs you do need something else in your life too. Do you do anything just for yourself?

Everyone feels like this sometimes. You are doing a hard, repetitive job at the moment, and even though it hasmoments of huge joy it can be exhausting. I think you sound like you might need some space for you. Have you considered an evening class or volunteering at a time your DH can look after your child?

wow major x post

I think it's pretty common to feel like this and then there's the guilt for feeling this way when there are others so much worse off. I'm having a down patch at the moment and feel like I just need a break from it all yet on the rare occasions I do get away I don't enjoy it because I'm missing the kids - madness!

thanx all of you- when i say 'it's not real' i mean that what everyone sees is not necessarily how it is do you know what i mean?
i don't get any time to myself really- my lo is also quite high maintenance and wants mama 'to do it' at the minute but as another poster said i think i would miss him when i was,nt with him .
i'm sorry i feel like i am not talking much sense or explaining myself very well i think probably lego got it right it's like a game and sometimes i feel like i am not playing right

Do you feel kind of like you're an actress playing a role, 'Capable Mummy'? And every day you get out of bed and have to get into character?

That's how I'd describe it, for me sometimes.

totally understand what you mean. DS and I are both still in our pyjamas but you can bet your bottom dollar that when it comes to the time for friends/whoever to come round we will both be dressed and perky and I will be doing a delia in the kitchen.

sometimes i dont feel grown up enough to be a mum.

there is no "right" way to do it, if your LO is generally happy and healthy then you are doing just fine. Dont be so hard on yourself...

hellobeasti yes that is exactly how i would describe it, it's like if you asked me to come to yours i would bring a cake or biscuits and we all exchange pleasantries but it's like it's all a game/film and we are all playing parts.
I suppose it's just life but these past few days i just don't feel like joining in anymore you are right some days i cannot wait to get in to bed and in fact i said to dh off to bed to start all over agin tommorrow.

I've been a SAHM for five years now and I have many a day where I feel like that, (although more of a slummy than a yummy I'm afraid ), but I feel like I lost a part of my identity when I gave up work and became a mum and that a 'mum' is all people see these days, if that makes sense, and it's almost as if nobody knows who I am anymore and everything is just one big charade.

Have you said any of this to your friends? Because I bet that when they ask in the normal social niceties we all exchange when we get together "how are you doing?", if you were to say "not great to be honest at the moment I'm finding things really hard going" they would be there straight away with a cuppa and soothing noises as you can bet your bottom dollar they've been there too at some point. And just being able to share those sorts of days with someone else can make such a difference to how you feel. Good luck x

I'm having one of those weeks. Technically not a SAHM anymore as both dc's are old enough to be at school, but dd (who has chronic health problems)is off sick once again and I could kill her for it amd of course all understanding and sympathy. I feel I would have to stand a VERY long way back to enjoy any sort of picture. Life is just so TOTALLY boring! I want fun and adventure and really wild things! And money being a bit tight doesn't help- I do at least want a shopping spree. Not this month, looking at the bank statement.