Teaching my 4yo to help around the house more!

[sunnyaunt]

I know it’s sounds ridiculous but I feel I’ve taken my eye off the ball with my 4yo DS and am worried I’m already raising him to think that housework is woman’s work.

For context he’s extremely lively and active and we do lots of physical activities together at weekends. When we come home, or when he gets home from after school club on weeknights it is generally chill out time, so colouring, Lego, cartoons and eating dinner, before bath and bed.

I work and so that downtime is really my main opportunity to do laundry and tidy up the kitchen etc. I make my sons tea most days. (My husband works long hours and is usually home after DS bedtime). So basically my son sees me doing all this and being the one to cook etc and getting him everything he needs, waiting on him etc.

I always take DS plate through to the sink after dinner because I think he’s tired, having his down time etc. He gets pretty tired as he’s so active and energetic throughout the day.

I would like to raise my son to be proactive and good around the house and ideally be contributing to chores as a matter of course once he is a tween/teen- what can I do to encourage this? What little routines can I build in with my 4.5 yo now?

If you had a 4yo girl it would be the same so no biggie

I always take DS plate through to the sink after dinner because I think he’s tired, having his down time etc.

oh dear…
To tired to carry a plate 5 metres = too tired to play.

My just turned 2 year old son takes his own plate to sink when finished, and helps tidy toys.

My DC took their dishes into the kitchen. Put their toys away every night, put their dirty clothes in the wash basket. Made their beds etc. They swept up too. Not very well but they obviously got better as they got older. They are late teens now and I very rarely need to ask them to do anything around the house because they do it automatically. Unlike my SC, don't even get me started on them!

I'd start with the basics directly related to him – hang up his coat, put his shoes away, help unpack his school bag (I check for escaped permission slips, half-eaten snacks, etc.). Put his clothes in the washing basket. In the morning, make his bed, help get his breakfast.

Then expand a little, focusing on mornings and weekends if you think he's exhausted and on the ragged edge on weekday evenings (plenty of four year olds genuinely are!). Tidying, laying the table (at least stuff he can reach), helping clear it, helping peg up laundry, fold and put away, having a go at sweeping or hoovering, helping cook. Generally helping out with tasks when asked. Some are fun – many children love helping wash the windows or the car, for example.