Toddler wants dad over me!

[SmithTE]

This may sound silly but I’m finding the situation difficult right now and wonder is it me and how can it change! My baby has not long turned one and wants to be with his dad all the time. He throws himself back and cries every time I take him after being with dad and it’s killing me. If we are both in the room and I’m holding my toddler he throws himself at dad or constantly reaches out to go to him. Recently I have gone back to work and I am so worried it’s damaging our bond. As he turned one I also started weaning him off the breast and wonder was that wrong?! I need to work for financial reasons and crèche was our only option but feel horrid leaving him every day. What do I keep our bond and will he grow out of it?

a hurting FTM!

Kindly OP, toddlers can be twats

He'll grow out of it, honestly. My DC were both like this at some point. My DS now is velcro, even though he's almost 9

Sending hugs though, it's hard ❤️

Sorry to hear how you are feeling - it’s natural to feel upset when that happens even if others tell you it’s just a phase that they go in and out of.

Few things that may be worth thinking about - is that you’re doing more of the nappy changes/feeding etc type jobs with DS and your husband is doing more of the fun activities? If so, make sure you get enough of that one-on-one time to play too. That may mean that DH has to be physically out of the room at that time. Are there any activities that he can associate with just you e.g a book that just the two of you read together or a game that you play. I know it can feel rubbish at the time but just remind yourself that you have that special bond too and I’m guessing when you’re around anyone but your DH, you are the person he is reaching out to and wants to be with. If you haven’t already it may be worth discussing with DH how you are feeling so you don’t get irrationally annoyed at him when it happens. I’m sure you appreciate the loving bond they have but I think it’s just instinctive to feel how are you feeling. These are just some suggestions which may help how you feel in the short term but it’s likely just one of those things that in reality changes with time (even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment) and just remember DS loves you too!

Also with regards to the feeding, no need to start weaning from the breast now as it’s recommended to continue for the first two years and lots of people continue to do so whilst working so don’t feel under pressure to stop if you don’t want to.

Hang in there OP, you sound like a very loving mum who is trying to do everything she can for her little one - if I can sense that from one post I’m sure your DS can sense that from everything you do for him.