How “hyper” are your 3 year olds?

[Nosleepforthismum]

I have a 3 year old DS and a nearly 2 year old DD. I think they are pretty average kids. Occasional tantrums and stubbornness but a good mix of exercise and downtime.

Our in-laws have been distancing themselves since the eldest was no longer a baby and say they want to see them more but never seem to enjoy it whenever they visit or we go out. We have not been invited to theirs in over a year. My MIL came round to see the kids after nursery recently and made a comment that my DS was nothing like my DH in personality and that DH was a very placid child. She also mentioned the kids seemed very hyper and looked fairly frazzled after the two hours she visited for.

All a bit disheartening as the kids loved seeing her and I thought they were on great form that day but maybe they are more full on than the average kid and I’m just so used to it, it doesn’t register.

In the two hours she was there, the kids had tea and needed encouragement to eat veg/use cutlery with a tantrum over the above which was over within a couple of minutes, then a bath, then raced the prams with dolls round the kitchen table, then built Lego stuff and ran monster trucks over it. Then tried to watch a program but wanted to built a fort with the sofa cushions (I said no which triggered another tantrum) but then they settled and ate a banana and watched CBeebies. Fairly average stuff I thought but I’m questioning my parenting now! Does this sound normal to you?

Sounds exactly like my kids/house! Totally normal in my opinion. What I have found though is I think our parents have forgotten what it's like to have little kids and how high their energy levels are because it's been such a long time since they did it. They don't have the same energy or stamina and quickly find it quite overwhelming! My mum is fine as she's worked with children all her life and remembers this is all normal but my dad always makes comments when he's around and repeatedly asks how I cope. When actually it really doesn't bother me that much as it's just become normal chaos to me! My in laws vaguely remember my husband being really high energy but will often say that they think our son is more wild. But honestly we think that as times passed by they just forget the reality of what it was like as in the grand scheme of things it was for such a short period of time and thankfully as an adult he's much calmer 😂

Sounds normal to me too. I think kids vary massively in temperament as do grandparents! As in some love the chaos and some prefer babies and older kids

Sounds totally normal don't worry! My MIL often says we deserve a medal after an hour or so around our 3 and 4 year old boys!!

Sounds normal.
My in laws visit maybe twice a year, for a week. They find my Ds exhausting and think no other child has so much energy. And they aren’t ever left alone to actually look after him either. He talks 1000 words a minute also no no reprieve even if he’s sitting still

I think that all sounds fairly typical (and I wouldn’t consider either of mine ‘hyper’). They are primary and secondary age now and very normal, leaning towards the quiet end of things children.

I think sometimes people who don’t have young children struggle to be around them and older people who have adult children have long forgotten what it’s like. I know someone who claims their now 40-something children never once ever had a tantrum. Of course, that isn’t true, but memory can be very selective.

I do think it’s hard to entertain guests at home with small children. Next time offer to meet at a playground. They can actively play with them and when you’re done, you go home. Rather than having to keep them occupied zooming around at home. And accept they may just not be the sort of grandparents who actually enjoy seeing their grandchildren. 🙄

Agree with the outside thing. Now I try and pre plan that we spend most the days at a zoo or castle or something. Ds can run about, play, and in laws can escape to a cafe if needed. Or at minimum a walk somewhere with Ds on scooter

My 3 year old is not like this at all, but the grandparents are being utterly ridiculous distancing themselves over a 2 and 3 year old just being kids.

I would say that I don’t enjoy having family over around the evening/bedtime routine. If any family visit they stay until my son is having his dinner. By then he’s tired and just wants to have his dinner, have a bath, and unwind in his own space and enjoy building lego or whatever with us before a bedtime story. He would probably get a bit agitated and silly if we had visitors during his bedtime routines. We do sometimes have family things/events/birthdays and so on that go on a bit later than usual, but not very often. Maybe the kids would cope better with them visiting earlier in the day, or seeing them on a day out somewhere.