Feel so horrible but sick and tired

[meandnyboys1]

I know everyone will think I’m a mean and horrible mum but I am sick and tired of my one year old, he pulls my hair constantly, pulls my glasses off, sticks his fingers up my nose, tries to pull my eyelashes out, pinches me, scratches me, bites me, climbs all over me, doesn’t leave my side for a second, cries when I go to the toilet, making dinner is horrendous, it’s only me and my 2 kids so I don’t have anyone I can pass him to at some point in the day.
i don’t know what to do with him but it’s really draining

Definitely not mean and horrible, you love your kids but sometimes it's overwhelming having someone encroach in your space all the time. We had a playpen for my youngest and I would pop him in there while I did an activity with my eldest, cook dinner or just have a breather from it all for 5 minutes. We kept soft toys in there and it was padded. Honestly was great for us!

Thanks for your reply, if I put him in a playpen he would scream the house down, I thought this would pass but his pretty much always been like this.
i think he’s teething as on top of all that he hasn’t stopped moaning and crying the last few days, the only time he isn’t on top of me is when he's asleep

I think that I had to let mine cry sometimes. He learnt to self settle and eventually would look forward to going in the playpen as there were toys that were just for the playpen iyswim so it was a positive experience for him instead of feeling like a punishment.

I remember feeling very much this way between about 8 and 14 months, my youngest is now 19 months and actually a real joy to be around she goes off and entertains herself (much more than my three year old) and she is smart and inquisitive. If she is looking for attention I tend to set her an activity up next to me, so if I’m in the kitchen I will put a towel on the kitchen floor and a couple of pans of water and some cups so she can practice pouring the water- it tends to get me 10 mins peace with out her clinging to my leg. It is just a really hard stage though but it will pass and you will enjoy your baby again.

@DownbadatthegymI don’t want to wish his life away but most Of the day is unbearable and if I tell him no he laughs because he doesn’t understand, I just want to be able to pee in peace and not have a baby stuck to me 24/7

Tomorrow google homestart (your area) they give help and support to families with under 5s its a peer volunteer thing, you sound burned out

Fwiw you are not mean you are struggling and on your own

Our oldest was and is like this. We then had twins and there was no possible option to manage in the same way. They had to cry sometimes and so somehow it didn't carry anything like the same emotional weight.

They are fine, and if anything happier sunnier souls for being less dependent while our oldest is still extremely anxious. Do what you need to to survive and look after yourself - your kids need you to be happy and rested, as well as present.

I don’t know what to do, he hurts me multiple times a day, cries if he isn’t on me, he’s even started crying in the car, full on screaming I'm at a loss, if i dare put him down he sobs as if I’m never going to pick him up again, I’m at a loss. I have to get my older boy (13) to sit with him to get anything done but he’s constantly moaning and looking for me

Does he do a pram at all? I know it can feel like an impossible juggle but hour long grudges around the local charity shops morning and evening were a lifesaver for us until we finally found a brilliant childminder who is like some kind of complicated baby whisperer. He still goes to her as much as we can arrange.

There is only so much that you - one exhausted person - can do. I hope things get better. For us, around 13 months was absolute rock bottom. A lot of it was food related. With the help of our childminder we figured out what he could eat without tummy pains and then tried to identify and tackle one thing after another. So hard when you are sleep deprived touched out and parented into the ground.

I remember this and it gets much better at 18 months then better at 2 again

As much as you can try to be patient and drip standards on the other stuff and give him as much closeness and attention as you can and just try and get other stuff done in his naps (do you have a partner that can help you, I didn't but if you do then they need to be doing more of the cooking etc!)

Pa get your baby their own cheap primark glasses to hold and wear when he wants yours