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Would you continue ttc#2 with husband less keen than you

4 replies

Sooty1983 · 16/03/2025 08:22

Il try and keep it brief, he’s a good dad and looks after DD age 3.5 one day a week as do I with her going to nursery outside of that as we both work. He knows I want another and hasn’t been preventing it. We have had 2 losses in the last 2 years also. I’m 41, he’s 44 and he has said he doesn’t mind either way. I’ve seen other posts where people have said both people should be v keen. I know it would be me who would do the bulk of child rearing/ household things tho he does step up when asked. Thats it though I do have to ask quite a lot. Every Sunday morning for example is the same. He wants to watch his tv show and expects her to occupy herself not paw all over him. I go out for a walk as I am doing now. I have said yes watch your show but get her some painting/ bracelet making etc to do, she can the occupy herself for a wee while but you do need to input. Small example but happens constantly. I don’t have family support nearby so do rely on nursery also. I suppose what I’m saying is I’m acutely aware that this won’t get easier. Do I look after myself and be thankful for the one I do have and know I can cope as I need to be honest and say he doesn’t live up to the standards I had hoped for though he’s good and maybe my standards are too high. Or continue with my eyes open knowing what’s ahead. In my head which also may be unrealistic is that in the long run even with an age gap 2 will be “easier” than one also

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Jshrbt · 16/03/2025 16:27

If I’m honest that was the scenario I was in and I pushed on and we had second DC. It’s not always easy obviously but actually DH has stepped up from sheer necessity as I’d literally say to him do you expect me to feed the baby and bath our toddler at the same time etc so if course he’d have to do his fair share

BunnyRuddington · 16/03/2025 17:31

I think in your situation sensibly I would leave it. He’s not that interested in being a DF. What your heart says might be different though Flowers

HenDoNot · 16/03/2025 17:37

Why can’t you wait and do your walk when his tv show that he wants to watch is finished?

So you entertain your DD while he’s watching his show, then he gives her his full attention while you have your walk.

But yeah, if you can’t even figure this out between you, I wouldn’t have another child to add to the mix.

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CandidRaven · 16/03/2025 17:43

I wouldn't personally, he doesn't seem that interested in parenting the one you have, nevermind adding another

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