13y/o very body conscious/ insecure

[notbylackoftrying]

13 year old who is increasingly very body conscious and insecure.

Refused party invite and holiday activities because she didn’t want to be seen in a bikini, wears clothes that cover her or are baggy.
Panicked at the idea of having to get changed anywhere and the door not being locked

She is a healthy weight and hasn’t lost or gained anything recently, showing no food issues.

Overwise she is quite confident, she has friends and socialises out of school, does extra curricular activities.

Is this normal and what can be done to increase her confidence?

i would blame social media unfortunately, i don't think there's really much you can do bar give her positive reassurance

This was me at that age.
I was a massive tomboy, involved in loads of sports which included mixed sex team sports.
I was completely and utterly mortified by puberty setting in. Every single aspect of it made me cringe - especially boobs appearing. I felt like everyone, including my male teammates were starring at me. They weren’t….but I was so hyper-aware of the changes in my body, that surely everyone else must be as well. So I hid myself. I wore clothes that were at least a size too big, all boys clothes where possible, sports bras every single day in an effort to squash my boobs down.
It all got a lot easier for me once my Dsis pointed out that the same changes were happening to all of my friends and teammates too, and I think that’s really when I started paying a little more attention and noticing that for myself. I wasn’t some freak who’s body was morphing into an alien creature I didn’t recognise.

Reassure her and don’t push her to do things she’s not comfortable with. Her body is changing and she can’t used to one thing before the next happens, along with hormones all over the place.

buy her swim shorts and rash vests, for example, if she would feel comfortable in them. Don’t tell her that she should be comfortable because of having a good figure - I guarantee it won’t help, she’ll just feel like you’re yet another person who’s suddenly interested in her body now it’s changing, when she wants no one to notice

It's normal. Nothing to do with social media. I was like it in the 80's. I had some excess hair that was a nightmare to remove.
I just didn't do PE or wear swimsuits for a couple of years. She'll be OK when she's a bit older.

Thankyou, I’m worried about making it into a big deal and making her feel worse. Know the you’ve got a perfect body comments won’t be helpful.
But I also don’t want to leave her to suffer on her own if there’s something I could do to help.