Not coping well with toddler and 5month old

[vannah]

And often find myself bursting into tears from feeling overwhelmed. I find this short age gap really difficult. I coped brilliantly with my DS (2.5) when he and I were alone, but now with little sister around(5 months) and am constantly trying to please one or the other and I find it so difficult when they are both crying. DS is very clingy and playgroup/nursery has not been an option, was hoping to wait till he's 3. DD wants to be carried a lot and although she can be settled on her own for a short while, I can just about wash a bottle/do a jigsaw with DS or cook meal then she is wanting me again.

The flat is so incredibly chaotic. I look around and despair even more! Its messy, dirty (cleaner once a week) and DH tidies up when he gets home...
I find cooking so difficult with 2 little children. Errands/ to-do-lists just don't get done and I feel constantly anxious about this. I just cant go shopping with the 2 of them.
Getting stressed and finding it difficult. Really screamed at DS today and said awful things to him, felt guilty all day.
Havent any home help - cant afford it around here. Families are not v helpful.

Please tell me when it gets easier?

thankyou for more kind and reassuring messages - has really put it into perspective for me

I have sooooo been there. I felt exactly like you did when mine were small (22 month gap). The first year was hard but it does get easier.
Now DS1 is at school full time (year 1) and DS2 is at nursery five mornings a week and it's all so much easier. I get time to myself/to get things done for 2.5 hours a day, then it's just me and DS2 in the afternoons till we pick up DS1 from school.
Hang on in there, there is light at the end of the (seemingly never-ending) tunnel.

If you can, try to synchronise their afternoon nap. I managed this with mine and that hour or two when they were both asleep was a life-saver.