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Original poster

Birthday party

19 replies

Littleboymamaaa · 13/03/2025 17:17

I'm not sure if I'm being dramatic however my DS turns 1 in april and I've planned a small party for him involving our closest friends and family. I have only chose family members on both sides who have met and seen my DS and who really have an impact on his life. I made the invites myself and sent them to my MIL and FIL. My MIL then found it totally acceptable to put the invite in a family group chat which neither me or my husband are in- this group chat includes people who we don't really know and who don't know our DS. I have approached my husband about this who thinks I'm totally unreasonable and that his mother is entitled to do what she likes so I'm left wondering if I'm the problem. Bare in mind my MIL also did the same thing with my gender reveal- she knew this upset me as I discussed it with her however has done the exact same thing again.. I'm unsure of what to do next as my feelings on the subject are being made to be stupid and irrelevant 

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Comedycook · 13/03/2025 17:19

That's outrageous of her...I agree with you

Original poster
Littleboymamaaa · 13/03/2025 17:21

Comedycook · 13/03/2025 17:19

That's outrageous of her...I agree with you

I'm so glad someone is agreeing with me.. it's so difficult as what I should do next as I haven't really spoken to my family/friends about this as I've already been made to feel like I am the problem Sad

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Enough4me · 13/03/2025 17:22

It would put me off inviting her to things, or I'd let her know last minute so little time to spread it.

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Original poster
Littleboymamaaa · 13/03/2025 17:28

Enough4me · 13/03/2025 17:22

It would put me off inviting her to things, or I'd let her know last minute so little time to spread it.

May need to be my next step for future events!

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CandyCane457 · 13/03/2025 17:41

I’d be furious!!

What is the likelihood these people will want to come, seeing as they don’t know you or your child?

BC2603 · 13/03/2025 17:52

I’d say they can come but she has to pay for the extras 😂 It’s bang out of order but maybe if she has to fork out for anyone SHE has invited she might think differently

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 13/03/2025 17:57

If you make invitations in future I would very clearly write across them for MIL and FIL ONLY so anyone being sent the invitation is aware. I would be so pissed off about this- what if they all turn up?!

Eldermilleniallyogii · 13/03/2025 17:58

Well of course your MIL can't do what she likes if she's inviting people to a party that you are hosting?

CarpetKnees · 13/03/2025 18:14

That's outrageous.
I would be clear - "I don't know why you did that as those other people aren't invited. The invitation was address to you two as a couple. You'll have to explain your mistake to the people you have given wrong information to."

Wayk · 13/03/2025 20:51

She had no right to do that. You need to put your foot down now or you will create a precedent. It is up to you who you invite. Sorry you are dealing with this.

sprigatito · 13/03/2025 20:55

You need to make it crystal clear that nobody is invited unless by you directly. MIL and FIL are not inviting anyone, because it isn’t their party.

And you need to give your husband a very clear verbal kick up the arse. They are his parents and he should be dealing with their schenanigans, not to mention having your back in general. You’re a team, so he doesn’t get to sit back and leave you to deal with difficult situations.

Original poster
Littleboymamaaa · 13/03/2025 22:23

CandyCane457 · 13/03/2025 17:41

I’d be furious!!

What is the likelihood these people will want to come, seeing as they don’t know you or your child?

I'm not entirely sure as I don't know these people all that well- hence them not being invited.. I'm absolutely fuming I just feel like it's out a damper on my DS's day- which is meant to be a lovely day for us all 😞

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Original poster
Littleboymamaaa · 13/03/2025 22:24

BC2603 · 13/03/2025 17:52

I’d say they can come but she has to pay for the extras 😂 It’s bang out of order but maybe if she has to fork out for anyone SHE has invited she might think differently

Good idea😂

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Original poster
Littleboymamaaa · 13/03/2025 22:24

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 13/03/2025 17:57

If you make invitations in future I would very clearly write across them for MIL and FIL ONLY so anyone being sent the invitation is aware. I would be so pissed off about this- what if they all turn up?!

That's going to have to be the case in the future.

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Original poster
Littleboymamaaa · 13/03/2025 22:25

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 13/03/2025 17:57

If you make invitations in future I would very clearly write across them for MIL and FIL ONLY so anyone being sent the invitation is aware. I would be so pissed off about this- what if they all turn up?!

I am totally pissed off.. the room we have hired isn't even a big room it's at the town hall which is not a big size but would've been perfect for the amount of people I had intended to invite😞

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Original poster
Littleboymamaaa · 13/03/2025 22:26

CarpetKnees · 13/03/2025 18:14

That's outrageous.
I would be clear - "I don't know why you did that as those other people aren't invited. The invitation was address to you two as a couple. You'll have to explain your mistake to the people you have given wrong information to."

Good idea- make her fix the mess she's caused

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Original poster
Littleboymamaaa · 13/03/2025 22:27

Wayk · 13/03/2025 20:51

She had no right to do that. You need to put your foot down now or you will create a precedent. It is up to you who you invite. Sorry you are dealing with this.

Everytime I feel like I've put my foot down it just backfires it's a nightmare!

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Original poster
Littleboymamaaa · 13/03/2025 22:31

sprigatito · 13/03/2025 20:55

You need to make it crystal clear that nobody is invited unless by you directly. MIL and FIL are not inviting anyone, because it isn’t their party.

And you need to give your husband a very clear verbal kick up the arse. They are his parents and he should be dealing with their schenanigans, not to mention having your back in general. You’re a team, so he doesn’t get to sit back and leave you to deal with difficult situations.

He's so laid back but it's quite frustrating.. he allows her to get away with things I'm not sure if it's for an easy life or if it's because he doesn't want to offend and cause dramas however it's causing me stress it's unfair

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Enough4me · 13/03/2025 23:09

As he's so laid back I expect you do the social organisation...oops you forgot her invite, tell her the day before.
Think of it as training her, she wants information then she'll need to listen to your requests to not spread it.

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