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Parenting

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Help needed between friends

3 replies

Mumfriend3 · 12/03/2025 08:04

I am struggling with my friend
As we get older our friends list gets smaller .
I have a great bestfriend .She has 3 children.as do i
Parenting is hard I have had 3 of my own I know its not easy .
Her youngest is 4
He's fine in nursery they have no concerns
At all .
But when he's out in public or someone's house he acts up and she never tells him off.
When they come to my house he is wild
I know kids will be kids of course ans I don't mind mess or fun
but there is a line of being a child and being naughty
he nearly broke my tv
my daughter tried to tell him to stop hitting the tv and he hit her and made her cry ..( shes 11)
He's marked all my cabinet and broke toys of my childrens ( I'm a single mum and carer so I can't afford new things )
My friend doesn't tell him off she just sees it as kids will be kids .she once did attempt to tell him off .he cried so she hugged him better?
I've tried to talk to her but last time she got defensive and stopped seeing me for a month or so .

He hasn't got issues other wise I would understand
It's just plain naughtiness and doing what he wants .
If we go out to a shop he will run off and throw things and food if he doesn't get what he wants .
But if ever attempt to say anything to her she gets so upset she stops talking to me .
I never tell him as it isn't my place and when I did once make a comment she got upset.
It's a shame as he has a lovely side I used to take him out alot and he was good and I neve had to tell him off
but with her he gets away with everything he's becoming hard to be around .
No child is perfect I know that .
Mine are far from .
But they have rules and respect .
She has a good partner and family life so I don't understand why she allows it .
It's hard know because I love seeing them but how do I tell her that I can't keep coming to my house as he's breaking things?
If I even attempt it she will stop seeing me ?
I care about her and her children and him of course but I can't put up with it for that sake .

OP posts:
YeGodsandLittleFishies · 12/03/2025 12:15

My rule has always been: properly control your child in my house or I will do it for you.

I don’t put up with behaviour from someone else’s child in my home that I wouldn’t allow from my own children.

However if you aren’t comfortable with that then the only solution is either to never meet with them at your home (stick to the park etc) or only see your friend without children present.

FurzeNotGorse · 12/03/2025 12:19

Either you control him/insist she does while in your house, or you meet outside of the house.

CarpetKnees · 12/03/2025 12:21

As first 2 posts.
If a child were doing something like that in my house, I would deal with it.
If a parent doesn't want their child stopped from vandalising something by another parent, then they need to parent the child themselves.

I can't believe you don't speak up !

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