Mum guilt - extra nursery half day

[Nenaster]

Dc is nearly 2 and for about a year has done 4 days at nursery with one day a week with me.

However I still work full time hours, I just condense them into the 4 days but I'm finding this increasingly difficult to manage and feel tired/ burnt out.

DH suggested we start doing 4.5 days at nursery when DC is over 2.

I think this would ease my work schedule although I am hesitating as feel so guilty about putting them in nursery for that much of the week. I know they're only small once and I want to enjoy it but I also need to work - it's not an option to go part time or quit etc

At the moment on my day off with DC though I'm so tired and drained, it's hard to enjoy.

We would be able to pick DC up earlier if it was 4.5 days as I could spread my hours out better instead of cramming them in.

I suppose I'm looking for similar stories and someone to tell me I'm not a rubbish mum 😕

Dc absolutely loves nursery and is thriving so I have no concerns there but the mum guilt is still there.

Dh doesn't understand it - he's from a country where women have it much worse in terms of rights/ mat leave etc and thinks we're lucky to have good childcare and happy child at nursery. In his country the grandparents do everything but were far from family so not an option.

Do whatever works for you. Personally and this is just my view, I would find 4.5 days too much at a young age. I actually also find 4 days too much. But that’s just my view, do what suits you and your family.

I would keep it to 4 days and not lose that extra time with him unless it is really damaging your health

Can you drop a few hours? I found 28-32 hours a lot more workable when my son was younger. Gradually worked up to 35 hours compressed now he eats/goes to bed later.

Can your husband work four days and have a day off with your child?

Agree with pp that 4 days max is better at that age.

I was working full time and using nursery 5 days a week for DC at that age. It was fine. Do it and save your own health and enjoy the earlier pick ups. In the summer that'll be great for time in the park or playground. Don't beat yourself up. You need to put your own oxygen mask on first. It really isn't much different.

The difference between 4 and 4.5 days is negligible so if it would really make things easier then do it.

Personally, I'm not a big fan of kids being in nurseries full-time so I would look for a babysitter for these hours instead so that he still gets a break from nursery.

Could your DH condense his hours and each do 4.5 days a week so your DS does three full days and two half days?

In the vast majority of situations Happy mum = happy baby. If condensing your hours is making you feel stressed than this is going to effect your child far more than an extra half day at nursery. Definitely do it and don't feel guilty, your needs and happiness don't just become irrelevant when you have a child.