Weaning with prolapse

[Nikamon]

Hello I have pelvic organ prolapse caused by muscle tearing, which means I can't carry things. I've been religiously doing physiotherapy for last 6 months, but there was barely any improvement. I can't carry my baby. He's 8 months old. After 10 seconds of carrying him my symptoms get worse and after carrying him for 10 minutes I feel the effects for several days. 3 weeks ago it was still manageable, now he either got too heavy or my muscles are getting even weaker.

How can I stop breastfeeding to sleep? My partner works full time. I've tried to calm the baby down without carrying him but it ends up with the baby crying like crazy forever. I'm afraid I'm traumatizing him, but the breastfeeding is taking a mental toll on me, since I'm in the position where I breastfeed every 30-120 minutes at night. It has to end eventually and in 3 months I'm supposed to go back to work (although I don't know how I can work with the prolapse, why is this not talked about, makes me so angry to hear that it's normal after someone had kids, I know other mothers can carry their babies).

Any ideas? Is it ok when the baby is crying and I'm just hugging him lying next to it? How long do I let it happen? The baby starts pushing me away, that's really a horrible feeling. He doesn't take a pacifier. He doesn't take a bottle. He doesn't want to eat solids. I've been told maybe he eats too much milk to have the motivation.

I feel honestly so horrible for not having carried my baby from the birth, not baby wearing (was strictly forbidden in my case), I feel this took away so much from my baby :( and now it seems like the cry it out is the only option :( (I'm not doing that)

What stage is the prolapse? If it’s so severe then you need surgery to fix it.

Do you have a partner who can settle him to sleep? I would say that unfortunately the rocking, cuddling, picking up and putting back down does not get better when they wean. If anything, they may need more of it. And as toddlers they are heavier.

If you want to wean from bf, you can slowly start saying no to feeds and replacing with a bottle or cup. But you will need a partner on board to do the feeding and also to do the nighttime settling if lifting is the issue.

Can you feed to sleep while sitting or lying down in your bed then lift him into the cot?

My dd is 15 months and only goes to sleep when breastfed her to sleep. Before bed I sit in a chair then put her in our bed. Then she's up through the night and as I'm right next to her she just rolls across and has a quick feed and goes back to sleep. As I'm there and she loves the comfort she does do this frequently in the night! She refuses a cot though, so we found ourselves in this situation! But the lying down to feed might work well in terms of not having to carry much. Sorry about the prolapse, that sounds really hard to deal with.

Stage 1/2, it's not severe as I've been really careful, but I'm very afraid to make it worse, since due to muscle avulsion my muscles are still very weak. And I have very strong symptoms (symptoms often don't correspond to the grade). Muscle avulsion can't be fixed by surgery unfortunately. Only waiting and hoping it grows back together.

Thank you for your answers, so it seems like there's no magic trick. Yes I have a partner and he's been putting him to sleep for last two nights, but since the baby wakes up 5+ times at night (with him, with me 8+), it's been quite draining. And same thing will be needed during the day, when he's at work. My baby is very sleep resistant :D I've been feeding lying at night but I can't get enough sleep this way, the baby also sleeps like 9h in total at night (without counting in the feedings), so I can't make up sleep quality with sleep length. So you say also toddlers need to be carried to sleep? Then I'm screwed :D maybe I'm just too careful with the prolapse.. I probably sound more dramatic than it is.. I so hate it.

Can you try to get at least one nap per day to go without feeding to sleep? Change the association to something else (singing, patting, a special phrase). And then gradually introduce this at night too.

My baby stopped feeding to sleep at around 5.5 months, it was bloody inconvenient at the time as I would happily have kept BF at night, but meant I had to find other ways to get LO to sleep - mainly the shush - pat method.

Could you try a ring pessary to give you more support?

By 8 months you should’ve improved, although not fully healed (you will never fully heal). You need to go back to your GP and ask for something else if physio hasn’t helped.

Have they tried a ring pessary? Is it your bladder? Or vagina or bowels...or more than one organ? You won't necessarily need surgery a pessary and pelvic floor exercises can 99% fix this.
I had this and still breast fed for three years.. my daughter wasn't put on solids until 8 months old.
She slept with me and l had a V cushion to help her onto my breast.
My husband would help put her to my breast and cuddle us both.
I'd see your HV and maybe a breast feeding club that can offer alternative ways to BF etc.

its a much longer timescale with an avulsion rather than just weakness.
alternatives are available e.g. vaginal pessaries but so important to cont with physio

I'd get the baby onto a bottle to make things bit easier on you. I'm sorry you're going through this.

If anything toddlers need to be lifted and carried more as they get more mobile, but not quite able to walk for any distance and hold hands nicely, won't be easily contained in a bouncy chair or moses basket, need to be lifted into a highchair.

Perhaps go back to the doctor and see what other treatments might be available.

I actually seem to have found one method, holding him and sitting on a bouncy ball, and bouncing a bit. Better than walking with him.