Baby sleep and help at night

[Fupoffyagrasshole]

help - not sure if I’m being irrational due to lack of sleep or if I’m justified feeling like this

9month old is sleeping terribly at the moment - up for hours in the night sometimes! I ends up sitting up for 2 hours sometimes at a time - getting very broken blocks of sleep myself. I feel awful.

my husband is always in such a deep sleep so unless I really make a an effort to physically wake him up I just am left to it.

hes not even working at the moment (redundancy - so job hunting)

tonight just as I was about to go asleep baby woke & I couldn’t get him back down and I just gave him to my husband and asked for him to take him for a while so I can sleep - he ended up waking me after 30 mins saying he couldn’t get him down either - I’m so bloody annoyed to be awake again. His argument is that he gets up at 6 and leaves me asleep until 7.30 in the morning and that makes up for his lack of help in the night.
I don’t think getting up early after a full night sleep is the same as broken sleep every night tbh.

im not going to argue with him now it’s too late and sure im up now for my night shift. But I just needed to vent to someone 😫

Sorry you’re dealing with this OP, sleep deprivation is truly awful. I know it doesn’t help right now but this will pass

your other half needs to step up, you say he’s not working so what on earth is his excuse?? Neither of you can get the baby back to sleep so it’s not like you have some sort of magical skill that he’s missing. To put it bluntly this is piss poor from him

are you able to do shifts? You sleep for the first chunk of the night whilst he deals with any wake ups then visa versa? Not sleeping is bad enough but being awake next to someone who has decent sleep every night must be infuriating and will of course create resentment

me and my hubby do shifts and always have done. He is responsible for DD until midnight. I am responsible from midnight to morning.

that way if it’s an awful night I can at least get 3 hours unbroken before my shift begins. Then he can also get 7+ house before he wakes too. (He works I’m a SAHM)

FWIW I found 9 months to be very difficult sleep wise with both my girls. We started gentle sleep training at about that age.

Thanks both! Honestly he is not a shit dad in general - he does all the cooking and fair share of household chores etc - we have a 4 year old and he’s great with her, sorts all her night wakes - although she hasn’t woken at night for months.

when he was working I didn’t tend to mind doing all the night wakes as he was up and out early - but now I expect a lot more obviously with him having some time off. He’s impossible to wake which is the main problem I think - he always has been like that. But last night I just lost it with the unfairness.

I’ve told him I want to talk about it tonight when the kids are in bed.

we have a sleep training plan that we need to work on but we just haven’t had time to actually focus on it with all the chaos of 2 small kids 😫

im annoyed too as he doesn’t go to bed early and that is part of the problem im sure !

Your DH needs to step up. But, I can see he might be a little resentful if he's up with your older child at 6am every single day. Perhaps time for a reset?

Maybe take it in turns to have the 'sleep in', while you also alternate who does the night wakes. Me and DH would take turns (from about 6 months onward) and it gave us each 3/4 hours sleep.

It will pass :-)

We’ve no nursery today for older one! So we are gonna have a “reset” have a great routine today - meals and naps all at the right time ! And start the bedtime routine nice and early ! Both of us going to take a nap as well in the afternoon!!

always have to remember we need to just start again when you’ve had a bad night ! And the year old is proof that the bad nights do eventually pass 😫