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I'm so stressed about returning to work

1 reply

candelabrasatmidnight · 10/03/2025 09:42

Going back to work soon after maternity leave. I have a school aged child and my little one will be going to nursery.

I'm unbelievably stressed about what life is going to look like. We are in a reasonably financially privileged position as my husband is a high earner and with that comes a not insignificant portion of time away during the week and late nights working. When he's around he kicks in with the children but the domestic labour of the house falls to me - laundry, meal planning, cooking, tidying/cleaning (although we do have a cleaner once a fortnight), general mental labour and organisation, and due to him being away I'll also have to do school/nursery drop offs and pick ups too.

I am literally losing sleep about it. I don't know how I can do all of that and work. My husband can't just 'do less' at work as this is the career he's qualified in, doing very well and loves.

Women used to do all of the above as their full time job; now many of us have to do it all while also working in order to pay our mortgage. We live in an expensive part of the country due to necessity (family responsibilities and work) so moving and downsizing our mortgage isn't an option.

How can I stop myself having a breakdown? Honestly wish I could just be a SAHM at this point or massively reduce hours but it isn't financially viable. I don't want to put pressure on my husband to be the sole provider but equally I feel like I'm the sole nurturer at this point. It feels so unfair.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
TY78910 · 10/03/2025 09:59

Ah OP, I could have written this minus the totally freaking out as I've just put that to the side for now. I have about 5m left until I have to return.

I have no real advice only that my perception is that women used to work in professions that fit around childcare hours.

The only thing I've considered so far is returning to work part time for the time being then looking to change profession at a pay cut. I do really love my career, so I am also full of thoughts that I will come to regret it.

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