Every year for my son’s birthday (he’s turning 3 this May) we have had a family party at our house. We live 2.5-3hrs from any family/friends and we have quite a large immediate family due to us both having divorced parents/step parents and grandparents, plus siblings with kids/stepchildren. Then we have very close friends/our son’s godparents. This means 25+ people want to see DS for his birthday. Because they don’t live close there’s no just dropping in for a cuppa to see him for half an hour, they all drive several hours so they do stay for at least the afternoon (hence why we have a bit of a get together).
Previous years we’ve put some buffet food on (literally platters from Morrisons!) and each year it’s been lovely weather so we’ve managed to fit everyone in the garden, which is quite large in comparison to the house. Our house is small, no way could they have all fit inside - we’ve hit on so lucky each year (last year the panic was real when it was tipping down the night before!). Last year we toyed with the idea of booking somewhere that would fit us all in case of bad weather, but all the typical kids party venues/village halls didn’t seem appropriate given it was mainly adults with just DS and my best friend’s son as the only children.
Anyway, this year DS is turning 3. Since last year, our friends/family has more children and partners - there’s 4 more babies added to the mix and my brother has got serious with his partner and got engaged, and she has 4 children primary aged who my DS really gets on with. People have started asking the plans as some want to book hotels given the drive. All our close friends and family have confirmed they have every intention of coming for DS birthday whatever we plan. I think this is lovely and I also love that DS will have a group of children to play with on his birthday, as we very rarely have that. But our problem - space! I think we can’t bank on good weather! We’ve hit on so lucky the last two years. I’ve totalled it up and if everyone comes there will be 38 people, including children, plus babies.
We’ve priced up private rooms in pubs/function spaces and they’re too expensive. However, there is a community centre a 5-minute walk up the road from us which has a decent sized hall with a kitchen/lounge area. There is also a playing field and play area right outside. I’m debating hiring it for 2-3 hours, maybe renting some soft play equipment (have seen some quite cheap) and taking some of DS toys up for the kids, doing a usual buffet of supermarket platters, and the adults can sit in the lounge area and the kids have got the hall to run round and play in.
Question - if I’m doing this then we’ll have way more space than we need for the kids to play. Should we invite some of his friends too?
DS started a new preschool last year and has made some friends he comes home and talks about a lot, they wait for him at preschool and we see them playing together. There are 3-5 kids I’d say he’s really friendly with. DH suggested we invite them as well - the hall has the space - and do the usual party games, party bags etc. So along with our friends kids and DS there would be 10-12 kids of varying ages if they all came. DH thinks DS will love having his preschool friends there - and he would. He thinks we just make it clear when we invite them that we’re having family and friends get together for DS birthday, but DS talks about X a lot from preschool and we think he’d love to have his friend there. But, is it weird? They’d be there with their parents and of course all the adults from our families/friends.
Would you find it strange if you turned up to a kids party and there was 25+ other adults there from the birthday child’s family? And only 10-12 kids and 4 babies? I’m not sure. We’ve never been asked to any other birthdays or parties from his preschool friends yet, so we’d be making the first move as it were, and I don’t want it to be weird! Then there’s the risk we miss out some of DS preschool friends or some we invited can’t come - we only know who he talks about, there may be more and I don’t want to upset anyone. There is 40+ in his preschool, so we can’t invite all of them! He is in a specific key group that his key worker looks after, but I know some of his friends aren’t in his group (especially the one he called his “best friend”), so just inviting them isn’t appropriate either.
WWYD? Should we invite Pre-School friends or leave it? I don’t want to put my foot in it and make it awkward.
And is a community hall a good idea for a family get together like this?