Getting upset by thought of dying…

[Snowdrop89]

Has anyone ever got upset at the thought of dying unexpectedly & leaving your children behind? I don’t know what’s got to me, I’m crying my eyes out tonight worrying about it. I felt I needed to do something so discovered Plan If online & have ordered some cards to write for my girls & put away for in the event of my death. I just want them to know and never to doubt how much I love them. Anyone else ever been here or am I being completely irrational? X

Yes. When I found myself a lone parent to a 7 yo AuDHD child and had an aggressive breast cancer.

I've made a will.
I've named guardians.
I've made my wishes clear.

I must buy the notebook "I'm dead and now this is your problem" so I can document stuff. This has reminded me to do that. I'm not scared of death, we can't avoid it, we all hope it'll be way down the line. However, I think it's sensible to be prepared.

Also, sorry, your feelings are valid and it's normal and OK. I hope tomorrow feels better

Normal I think, so long as once you’ve taken the practical steps you mention, it doesn’t threaten to drag you under. Then, I’d be worried that your anxiety might have tipped into clinical territory.

But yeah, it might hit us at different times, but the overwhelming weight of responsibility we have for other lives as mothers means that it really bloody matters when we die, especially if it’s sudden or premature. That’s a lot to confront. And heartbreaking. Your children are lucky though because you’re brave enough to consider what it means, and to make sure they know they’re loved and protected if the worse were to happen. Making a will and naming guardians may also help you regain a sense of control. So might taking out a life insurance policy written in trust, if you don’t already have one. It did for me.

I don’t doubt they already know they’re loved, btw, so try not to worry too much! ❤️