Does this sound like a night terror?

[BigcookLittlecooks]

Dd (3) slept for about 2 and a half hours and then I heard her crying. I went to her room and she was laid on the floor.

I tried to put her back in bed ( toddler bed so very close to the ground) and wondered if she’d fallen out, but she was having none of it and was screaming.

I sat outside her room, tried to talk to her but she didn’t want me and was telling to go away. She threw her toys and knocked her water bottle over, a chair over, saying she didn’t want them (they were just nearby but in her view).

this went on for a good 10 mins of laying there screaming. But she was also talking to me and responding to what I was saying, saying she wanted to go downstairs, then she said to nanny’s and go to ballet.

I went down to get her some water and when I came back up she’s got back into bed. She asked for Peppa Pig so I gave her my phone while I settled her sister back to sleep and she was asleep within a couple of mins. I checked her temp and it was normal.

The only reason I’m questioning whether it’s a night terror or not is because she was definitely able to engage with me and what I said rather than just saying random things.

What do you think and how do I handle it? She shares a room with her sister who is woken by the screaming.

This is the 3rd one I have seen in the past couple of months.

Yes, that sounds like one. I'd be starting to look into causes, my son's were caused by sleep Apnoea

When my 3 year old has them I find he can't engage to conversation with me, it's almost like he knows he wants me but can't see me, although he can say things he wants.. we call it coming back in the room when he comes out of it

Thank you. It’s horrible to see, nothing helps while she’s having it and I just had to let her ride it out.

Ys it does, DD had them for a couple of years, me being there made no difference, she couldn't see me. I just used to watch to make sure she was safe. If they don't remember it it is likely a night terror rather than a nightmare. We had sleep walking too, not sure if they are linked.

Yes, we used to just turn all the lights on and try to fully wake them up. Sometimes they wake up and snap out of it and then go straight back to sleep because they’ve exhausted themselves.

If she's engaging with you then I'm not sure it is a night terror? When DS had them at the same age he didn't seem to be aware that I was there at all.

Yes sounds like it. They are in very deep sleep so usually have no memory of it, so it's more distressing for you than them! Night terrors also tend to be very early in the night.

DS had them for a year or so, when he was in his early teens. Would appear in the living room crying and looking absolutely terrified, just brushed me aside if I tried to speak to him or comfort him, didn't acknowledge me, seemed to be running from (or looking for) something. Eventually he would let me lead him back to bed, tuck him in, and it was as if someone switched him off - he'd sink back into deep sleep. He had no memory at all the next day, so we usually didn't tell him, as he started to worry about it, and eventually they stopped.

Yes it does. Or something similar called confusional arousal. My son used to get this, but without the ‘terror’ aspect. He’d be really angry and upset. Similar to a previous poster, we found you had to fully wake him up somehow to make it stop (I read they will stop of their own accord but my son’s used to go on for ages and never showed any sign of stopping himself). Different things worked - lights on, TV, video on my phone - but when he ‘woke up’ you could actually see it happen, like the lights were suddenly on behind his eyes. Before that, he would seem to partially engage, but if you asked him questions, he’d get angrier/more upset - I think because he didn’t know how to answer as he wasn’t fully awake. He had a very distinct cry when this happened, and for a good few years it would happen every few months or so. A couple of hours after bedtime I’d hear ‘the cry’ and my heart would sink. Now, he sleep walks every few months instead, I think it’s related. And probably inherited - I remember as a child having times where I knew I was asleep and wanted to wake up and couldn’t. And I used to sleep walk.

In terms of your question how to handle it - in the end I used to just scoop him up and take him out of the room, to avoid him waking his brother in the room next door. A change of scenery, the TV on in the lounge, lights on, would often be enough to wake him up, you’d see him ‘reappear’ and then I’d just pop him back in bed and he’d pass out.

Not an expert by any means but DH has had them his whole life and is never present to engage when having one. His DM would say the same of when he was a child. He describes them as acting out a nightmare and in the severe ones he can sometimes hear me, but the dream is happening around him and he can't see me or speak to me. So that would make me think it's not a night terror if she was very present. I wonder was she just disorientated after waking from a deep stage of sleep or something?

From my experience yes. My son (8 now) has had night terrors for years. Often seems awake/ responds to specific things we say but can be very angry and distressed. After engagement with a child psychologist for this and other issues we worked out that for us anyhow best approach (despite it being completely counterintuitive and often frankly heartbreaking to ignore your angry/distressed child) is to ignore it / keep an eye but stay out of the way then it peters out in about 15-20 minutes. When we would try to comfort him or wake him or let him watch something on phone or get him food or anything else he would get increasingly distressed and/or angry and it could go on for hours. I've also realised over time it's in some way related to the need to pee - something to do with his brain not recognising signal to go to the toilet and getting distressed. Usually he will work through night terror then ultimately go to the toilet and come looking for a hug/reassurance. Solidarity - it's horrible.