Feeling seriously low parenting 3 children.

[Ibytam]

I am reaching out for support because I feel I can’t take another day of this. I am on antidepressants as of 4 weeks a go for PND and for the most part I was feeling better but after a weekend of the entire family being ill I’m just honestly so fed up, I can’t take it anymore.

I have a 5yo, 2yo and a 6 month old baby. Life atm feels incredibly tough, I try my damn best but it doesn’t feel good enough. My 5yo has ASD so is very challenging, has recently started to hit and show signs of aggression which I’m ashamed to ever admit but I just don’t know where it’s come from. My 2yo cries and whines over every single thing imaginable and the 6 month old is well, a 6 month old.

My partner is a really good dad but works long hours and I solo parent 10 hours every day, I know it could be longer but it’s so bloody hard. My family live 5-6 hours away, I have grandparents near by but they are very elderly. My brother lives close too but he works full time, both he and my sister in law. It’s just us, all day everyday, I see so many parents that seem like they have their shit together and they do this all on their own and I don’t know how. Genuinely I do not know how.

Please I love my kids with every inch of me but I’m not enjoying being a mum right now, I cry every day, I never sit down, I always feel tired and poorly, I’m really just so done with every day being the exact same, it’s awful. I don’t know what I want from this post, maybe someone to tell me they felt the same and it got better? Anything 😩 My partner has just had a long weekend booked off and is back at work tomorrow, so it’ll be me on my own again looking after all 3 that are poorly (also poorly myself) and the eldest won’t be able to go to school to make things even harder. It’s not normal to dread every day like this but I do. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

Sounds like you are really having a tough time, I find two challenging so you are doing so well handling three.

I think we all look at other parents and think they have their shit together but it's not true. It's especially hard without any support. So well done!

I have a 2.5 year old and 6 month old and the temper tantrums and teething throw my head in a spin.

Can you get the toddler in childcare for a morning/ afternoon session in the week? This could give you a reset?

Anyone who has their sh8*t together with 3 under 5 has a massive help,whether grandparents, babysitter plus nursery full time. What you are feeling and experiencing is normal, taking care of small children and household on your own most of the time is a modern trend, that falls mostly on women and is isolating, tiring and depresing. I have 2 boys 4yo and 17mo and no outside help, DH and I both work full time, they attend nursery when they are healthy which is never and I am dreading every extra hour I have to take care of everything ony own especially when I am poorly as well. I would try to have them in nursery or get nanny for a few hrs if you can afford, just to catch a break and come back better person/mother because it is not easy to stay on top every day every moment. Big hug to you, don't beat yourself down you are doing amazing :-)

Honestly, it is rubbish, it's especially rubbish when anyone is sick let alone everyone, and it does get better. I only had two (ASD also), and I can honestly say it has gotten better slowly - not always in a linear way, one of my dc started hitting etc about timing with school starting as they found that so challenging.

You're not alone, and you're not wrong, it is really tough at times.

When I was desperate I'd go on Amazon and but sensory stuff like jelly baths, play dough (easy to make), yes, it makes a mess but, you might get to drink a cup of tea in peace for 10 mins...

Sending support OP 💐

All I can promise you is, as all of yours get that bit older, everything will feel easier. You will be getting more sleep and your younger two will be so much more independent.

Hang in there! ☺️

Hope you are feeling better OP.

life with three can feel overwhelming (mine are 10,6 &3).. very hard to say but sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is to find the small thing that made me feel happy in the moment, usually something silly from the kids, and I try and sit in that moment and recognise it and enjoy that feeling. Now they don’t come thick and fast these moments.. but when one comes along I really try to feel it. I can feel quite numb the majority of the time.. which is sad.
sorry I have no practical advice but well done for keeping 3 tiny humans alive. It will get better xx