7yo constantly interrupting with noises

[Sideofnoreturn]

My 7yo has an awful habit of deliberately making loud noises when I am trying to speak to DH or his sister.

The noises themselves will vary from singing (mostly) to humming to doing a funny voice to literally just shouting.

He has done it since DC2 was born when he was 2.5 - he would sing or shout every time she cried - and now it has morphed into literally every time I try to have a conversation at home that doesn’t directly involve him.

I have tried talking to him about it and he acknowledges it’s rude but it’s clearly habitual after so many years. We do consequences eg no tv if he does it 3 times in a day - but these seem to have no lasting effect.

It is driving me mad. Before anyone asks, he is NT and otherwise well-behaved.

One reminder then out of the room.

Can you just ignore it? Maybe not the shouting but if he starts humming or singing deliberately as you talk to DD, I'd act as if it wasn't happening.

Yes i'd be marching him straight out the room.

What are the consequences ? Can you up them? My kids loved their computer time and the treat of them losing that meant they were extremely well behaved. I was very consistent and fair.

I'd find the shouting out extremely irritating. Have you been able to get him to understand why it's so annoying? Have you tried role play with him. Does he do other deliberately annoying things?

Have you tried loudly saying to him "be quiet while I am speaking to .... !". Then if he does it again, make him leave the room. Do this every time. Good luck.

I'd be actively ignoring it. Any attention is attention - so if you stop talking to your DD to acknowledge his behaviour he's getting the attention.

Poor kid, it sounds like a habit he can't stop, I would just completely ignore so he doesn't get any attention for it.

I don't think punishment is going to work with this. It's ingrained. I don't think I'd give it any attention at all and some 1 on 1 time separately to see if it can break the habit.

Does he do it at school?

I would leave the room every time he does it. If you are talking to DD I would say to her ‘Shall we go somewhere quieter’, so not even acknowledging that it is him making the noise, and leave him behind.
Counter this with a bit of extra attention at another time.

Thanks so much for the replies.

Yes we usually tell him to leave the room and have done other consequences like no tv but I honestly think it’s unconscious as they will stop that specific incident but he will just do it again later.

He doesn’t do it in any other context (like school) or even if my DH is speaking to DD - it’s literally only when I am speaking to someone that isn’t him.

I think I will try completely ignoring it and see what happens. I’ve been getting increasingly annoyed about it as I feel like I can’t have a single conversation with DH in DS’s presence atm, but perhaps that is actually fuelling it.

I would do this. This acknowledges that he's got himself stuck in a habit he can't help at the moment, while still saying "we will not put up with this."

If he follows you to keep doing it that's different. That would then be purposefully rude behaviour and I would administer an immediate consequence.

Every time he does it, give him a chore to do.

Tourettes?

Excellent! Those skirting boards won't dust themselves.

I knew someone would say Tourettes 😂
No it's not Tourettes, it wouldn't just be happening when parent is trying to talk to someone

lol 😂

It’s not Tourette’s but I think it is unconscious/subconscious on his part - definitely a kind of habit that started from jealousy of his baby sister/wanting my attention.

I will try some of these options and report back.

Please OP, is there an update on what worked? We're in the thick of this as well and are at our wits end. My son in ND though this particular behavior is definitely stemming from jealousy since it is heightened when LO is asleep especially.

He is jealous of your attention so interrupts when you give attention to other family members.

@Momatwitsend it has gradually got better over time - tbh I don’t think anything I did really worked - he’s just become a bit more mature. I’ve noticed he will do it if he feels I am annoyed with him or something - it’s a definite attention seeking mechanism, so if I offer him physical touch (a hug or hold his hand) it can help.

In DS’s case I think it was a definite question of it being a symptom of something (feeling he didn’t have enough attention from me) so treating the behaviour itself wasn’t much use. Best of luck!

Thanks! Good to hear there was a change in 6months!