First week of new school, would you tell the teacher?

[Teacakeorbap]

We moved across the country to our new house two weeks ago. It was a big move for our children (DD10 and DD7) which they really worried about and meant they both moved away from very close best friends.

I’ve been worried sick and feeling very guilty but felt relieved that they both have seemed to settle in to their new school during the first week.

However DD7 has come downstairs after bedtime tonight in tears. The girl she sits next to has been taking her stationary (they have to take in their own), snatching it off her and taking things out of her drawer during breakfast club when DD isn’t there. I’d heard about an issue with whiteboard markers earlier in the week (DD’s was taken by said girl and the teacher wouldn’t replace it as they said they didn’t have enough for everyone and it wouldn’t be fair (I felt this was a bit harsh in her first week) so I bought some and put her name on them. It sounds like it’s escalated though now.

Additionally, there was a girl who was assigned to look after DD on the first day. DD really liked her but it sounds like this girl has a best friend who was jealous and since Monday they’ve told her she can’t play with them. Today, whilst playing with other people she’s been approached by them to make a point about her not being allowed to play with them and accused her of “hogging” this girl. DD has burst in to tears and, I suspect because they felt a bit guilty, they’ve both started crying as well. The teacher checked in on them and said they all have to play together on Monday but DD felt like she was in trouble.

To top it off DD10 who seems to have settled in well was presented with a certificate in assembly because it was her first week and for good behaviour. DD7 got zilch which was a bit of a blow for her after a crappy day.

All very childish, I know, but they’re 7 and I can imagine (and from DD’s upset this evening) pretty horrible to deal with.

Given it’s the first week would you speak to the teacher about the other kids or wait it out to see if things improve. I’m an advocate for them working through problems like this but feel sick worrying about her having a terrible time, especially free so much change recently.

I’ve challenged her to stay away from these girls on Monday and concentrate on the other girls who seem nicer, put her hand up as soon as her table partner starts trying to take things off her, and join in with tig in the yard at drop off with the other kids and her sister (she’s been a bit clingy so far).

Any advice?

Definitely tell the teacher. She's still only 7 and will need some support. The teacher can keep an eye out if anyone is being mean to your DD. Focus on how your DD felt on Friday evening, and that you want to make her new school a positive experience and will do anything possible to do that.

You really sound a lovely mum and I hope she settles soon. You must be feeling guilty for moving them, and this will be compounding how you feel.

Yes. It needs to be nipped in the bud and the teacher will of course want a smooth start for a new student also

Yes, she's being bullied and the teacher should deal with it.

Thanks all! DD wasn’t keen about us speaking to her teacher (she said she’d be embarrassed) but I explained that I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t help her through this in some way and the kids wouldn’t know that we’d spoken to the school.

She’s agreed but we’ve had a lot of tears this weekend and she’s very clingy with me (brought me breakfast in bed this morning out of the blue with a note for me!).

I’ll ask the teacher for a quick word at drop off.

I’m not in to coddling kids but do you agree it’s a bit crap of them not to have given her a certificate, only her sister? She’s quite hung up on it and so we’ve been reassuring her that she’s doing a great job and we’re very proud.