My 9-year-old daughter has been increasingly vocal about feeling “fat” over the past 1.5 years. She gets very upset and struggles with low self-esteem, with episodes growing more frequent and severe. For context, she’s slightly taller and larger than her friends, but not significantly—some kids in her class are bigger. Her BMI is above the middle but still within a healthy range. She eats well and stays active.
This isn’t a request for diet or weight-loss advice; I’m well aware of the usual recommendations (smaller portions, more activity, fewer snacks, more water, etc.). I’m looking for broader advice on how I should respond. There’s so little guidance out there, and I believe small changes now can prevent bigger struggles later. It also breaks my heart to see her this upset.
• A counsellor wasn’t effective—at her age, it was too much for her to process.
• Our GP had no real resources since she’s young and doesn’t have an eating disorder.
• If I reassure her about body confidence or suggest healthier habits, she takes it as confirmation that she is fat.
• If I don’t address it, she’s left alone with these thoughts.
How can I best support her in building confidence and a healthy self-image as she heads into her teens? Has anyone dealt with something similar? What worked for you, and who did you ask for help (I'm looking for qualified experience or professional sources)?