First child - give me your tips!

[LaughingCat]

Hey there! We’re about to have our first child and, in between flipping from terrified to excited to excitedly terrified, we’re both trying to absorb as much advice as possible. We’re acutely aware that we know absolutely nothing when it comes to prepping for those first few weeks and months.

Going to take it as it comes as we just don’t know how things will work out with things like breastfeeding/type of birth so don’t know whether we’ll be bottle or breast, or C-section or natural…kinda more up to the little one! But still - there must be things that made it a little easier on you guys at the start, regardless of those factors!

Soooo…lay it on us. What massively helped you? Was there a white noise machine or certain type of crib that worked amazingly? Bouncy seat or a sling work better for keeping your hands free? Nappy bins that actually work? Any item or setup or way of doing things that made life just that bit easier?

Any tips would be hugely appreciated. I know I’m going to be tired from clusterfeeds, potentially with limited movement if I end up needing a C-section…probably not going to be wandering to the market and picking up fresh produce to make a home cooked meal at the stove two days out of hospital 😂

So please…help a clueless couple out and tell us what worked for you!

I think it hugely depends on the baby. First baby was very colicky, fussy and wouldn't be put down and the only thing that got me a break in the day was this battery operated swing seat. Second baby was a content little thing who could just be lay down in the moses basket or on a play mat for ages.

I think I didn't take naps seriously enough with my first. With my second we had a good routine of naps and although she was easy anyway it really helped that she got enough daytime sleep at the right times. She could nap in the house or in the pram or car seat so we could still go places.

being calm,
not panicking,
resting when baby sleeps,
holding off visitors for first few weeks
eating properly, high protein diet
fresh air as much as possible

enjoy your baby,

more modern mums will be here soon advising on equipment,
prams, feeding etc., good luck with the delivery

Ooohhh…I didn’t know about daytime naps. Thank you! Going to look up the best times.

Thank you! That’s really good advice 💜

A baby has two ends, a wet and and a dry end.

Keep the wet end dry and the dry end wet

Congratulations!
Not sure if a tip, but I deeply regret not bedsharing from the beginning. At the time, the nhs guidance was don't. But it has since changed. We did start bedsharing at about 1yo but that first year was brutal because baby, although in a next-to-me type of crib in our room, was missing the physical connection. The resulting lack of sleep really took a toll on me, both mind and body. Still not fully recovered tbh and she is 3+ now.

Has that changed now? I was looking at next-to-me cribs for ease. I’m an insanely heavy sleeper so think I’d be too nervous to sleep next to them, though 😅

Congratulations @LaughingCat 😊

My advice would honestly be to not overthink it and to not overbuy. And I say this as the woman who had a full spreadsheet of “must have items” and who bought them all 🫠😂
Your baby needs something to wear, a pram or sling or both, somewhere safe to sleep, a safe car seat, and a way of being fed.
What works for one baby will not work for another. They’re just all so different. I had so many friends tell me their “essential items” - and I bought them all…and my baby hated them 😂 I wasted so much money and gave away so many things.

Realistically, in this day and age there’s pretty much nothing that you can’t have delivered within 24 hours if you really need/want it 😊 so I’d wait and see what kind of baby you have first 😊

In terms of advice for the first few weeks -

• take care of yourself too.
• be clear on your boundaries with visitors etc - it’s ok to have a house full of people if you want, but equally it’s absolutely fine to say “no” and just have time with your little family!
• fresh air works wonders for everything
• take baby’s cue for naps etc once they’re a few weeks old you’ll probably start noticing a pattern developing and you can use this to build your routine. Don’t try and force a routine based on what anything online says your baby “should” be doing

@LaughingCat *you’re an insanely heavy sleeper just now 😂 That most likely will change.

I wish I had believed people who said that the newborn phase was short. In those first few weeks I got so stressed worrying about cleaning, tidying etc, thinking I would never be able to put my baby down again. And I had a section, so I should have been recovering!

Before I knew it he was 3 months old, then six, and those days were done. The crazy weeks don’t last forever. If I have another, I’ll embrace the contact napping and just relax and enjoy my baby.

Don't spend a fortune on your pram/travel system unless you love the buggy part.
You need the car seat.

The pram base isn't used for that long.

Get a decent buggy - easy fit into car/suits your terrain e.g. if you live near woods/aim.to jog with baby/live near beach etc...

We bought a lovely travel system and ended up using a buggy given to us because it was brilliant going through woods/moors/countryside.

Also go into labour with an open mind, and think about if you have any red lines/non negotiables in terms of intervention. I always said I would refuse the hormone drip and I did, I ended up with a section, but had a lot of staff pressuring me otherwise on the day.

Ha! We might have been separated at birth…I may have just set up a spreadsheet exactly for that 😂

To be fair, you are completely right. Nothing that can’t make it on expedited delivery.

Taking a long breath before talking to my husband when both of us were very tired.
It sounds simple but we really had to work at not playing the "who has it harder" game.
You are each other's best ally, but at 4am when you're bone tired and everything is unfamiliar and hormonal it's easy to forget.
That's when you need to dig deep and really work together.

Oh god…I didn't even know a pram was different to a buggy 🤯 Lots of off-road up here in the Dales and I’m addicted to the trails - hadn’t thought about factoring that in to our buggy research. Amazing tip!

Check out the Out'n'About range. Think they do travel systems too.

Ours had tyres that pumped up like bike tyres and had a puncture repair kit!

Another couple from me,

Let people help if they offer but make sure they are doing the practical part so you can hold baby. Don’t fall into letting people hold your baby whilst you sort washing/make dinner etc.

I love buying clothes, I bought so much when I was pregnant and I regret it because I still want to buy bits now my baby is born but can’t justify it! Don’t go overboard so that you can have a few shopping trips when your baby is here!

Download the Huckleberry app. I log sleeps onto it and it tells me when the next one is due. I've a baby with zero sleep cues but who roars the housedown once overtired.

👆 in spades

I was so determined to be the 'new mum doing great' that I, despite the c-section was on top of housework, laundry, even baking for visitors. I loved time with my baby but if I had a second time, I'd have snuggled up with box sets and let all those people who offered to help us do so.

It's a beautiful time so please enjoy it. Congratulations x

Oh my god, their Nipper v5 all terrain pushchair is AMAZING. Exactly what’s needed for trail running in the Dales! I thought I was going to gave to stick to road walking for the next few years and was a bit miserable about it. Thank you!