Do I need to night wean or sleep train (or wait it out)?

[Babyfomo]

I’m a FTM to a fantastic, thriving 5.5 month old. I’m finding all the sleep books and info a bit overwhelming. I’ll be going back to a demanding job in September and to be honest, the sleep deprivation has made me quite low at times so I would like to try and get things better if I can (after 6 months). I’m not expecting her to sleep through the night for 12 hours but I would like a good stretch and possibly just 1 feed a night,

Situation is this. I put her to bed after a feed (bottle and a bit of boob for comfort at night, rest of the time mostly boob) and she goes to sleep herself. Has done since 12 weeks. She generally wakes 3/night and has a proper feed. I’ve tried waiting 5 mins but the cry always escalates because I think she’s hungry. I’ve tried unlatching her a bit early but she hates that too. Napping has always been shit, and they are nearly all in the car or buggy. I have driven myself to insanity trying to get her to sleep in the crib sometimes.

The problem I have is that every sleep schedule bases your day on the assumption your baby will nap when they should. Often she’s up for 4 hours before her first nap - she just ain’t tired enough before then. Then she’ll generally have 2 naps including one longish one.

I feel she is able to self settle a bit at night as she does go down wide awake and when she wakes, she is genuinely hungry.

Just wondering what other parents have done who were in a similar situation to improve sleep 😊

5-7 months is incredibly hard. I found with both of mine that all the disruptions people claim are the ‘4 month sleep regression’ started really at 5 months. 6 months was teething and starting solids, which causes all sorts of sleep issues because of changing digestion.

Unfortunately, I can’t say we were at one wake up for awhile. Maybe closer to a year and not every night. Even 3-4 year olds sometimes wake multiple times a night. But it got easier. When you go back to work, assuming you have a partner, regardless of whether you bottle or breastfeed, your baby won’t necessarily need a feed to go back to sleep, so your partner can take over nights half the time.

Personally, I don’t buy into all this strict routine and schedules stuff. Every baby is different. No one can give you a generic blueprint and claim it will solve all your problems. But nothing you are describing sounds abnormal for 5 months. Mine slept in the sling, car, pushchair until they went to nursery (and then they got them to sleep with all the other babies on mats), but I’m not sure they ever once napped in the cot. Some babies just don’t (it’s actually so much easier if they sleep well out when toddlers!).

A lot will change before September. If you have a partner, they can take over on weekends and give you time to nap during the day. Also go to sleep when baby does in the evening still. Seriously, a good block of sleep 7-10pm will set you up for the night. Same with daytime naps if baby will fall asleep next to you safely. Basically, just sleep whenever you can and hand baby off to partner to get sleep as necessary. It really will not be like this forever.

My advice is don't over think it, you'll drive yourself mad. Mine had no schedule and co-slept. They're both amazing sleepers (2 and 4) and have been since 12m

What tiem doea she go to sleep, What time is she waking in the morning, and does she seem rested when she wakes?

I found at 5.5 months mine needed their first nap after such a short time, and if they didn't get it then would get a second wind and seem wide awake but crash later.

Are you getting plenty of feeds, fresh air and stimulation in during the day?

3 wakes from, say, 7-7 sounds totally normal to me for that age. I got more rest by going to bed early as the first stretch of sleep was the longest. And cosleeping helped.

It's great that she goes to sleep herself at bedtime.

Hey thanks everyone for the useful and comforting advice. My instinct is to ride this out and hopefully I’m going to stop breastfeeding quite soon and also up the solids, which may help?

she often doesn’t go to bed until 9 which I know I should work out…it just helps me get a bit more sleep but I just need to push my bedtime earlier.

I guess I just thought I would have things kind of nailed by now…and I really don’t! Ha. But don’t get me wrong, things are a 1000x better than they were at6 weeks and 3 months. If the sleep improved I’d be a new woman - just gotta be patient and accept the naps in anywhere but the crib 🫠