Pre-school

rja0702 · 2025-02-26T13:44:03+00:00

Hi, My DD (3) is due to start preschool in a couple of months. She has great communication skills and can follow Instructions however she is so very shy around new people and situations. We took her to look around her preschool a few months ago and she just cried and cried, when the staff tried to talk to her it just made her worse. I appreciate she's a good 5 months older now, so we are going to take her for a visit next week but I just can't help but feel so anxious how she is going to cope with the change and "strangers" speaking to her. Does anyone have any experience of this? Thanks for reading

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Herewegoagain8 · 26/02/2025 13:53

My DS started pre-school at 3.5, he wasn’t too bad with adults but would literally turn and run back to me if another child crossed his path so I was worried too. Obviously I’d expect a settling in period and some tears but she will get used to it and be fine. The preschool staff have seen it all before and have ways to help her deal with the transition. If the staff are good they’ll communicate with you and reassure you. I remember my sons key worker sending me a message and a photo saying he was fine and what he was playing with when there had been tears at drop off.

A good pre-school will really bring her on as well socially and my DS is a completely different child now to when he started (he’s in reception now), they were absolutely brilliant with him.

It’s hard on you I know to see her so upset but it’s a step in preparing her for school and they will work with you on settling her in properly.

Original poster

rja0702 · 26/02/2025 21:55

@Herewegoagain8

Thanks so much for your reply. It's great to hear your son settled in fine. I really hope she is the same.

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user1474315215 · 27/02/2025 06:28

I think you should trust your judgement. My DC were due to start preschool after a house move, which had really unsettled them, and the arrival of a new sibling. They were unusually clingy at home and really struggled at the new pre school. The advice I got from friends and family was to persevere as they'd need to get used to it before they started school. After six very unsettled weeks I withdrew them (luckily I didn't need the childcare as I was on mat leave). We carried on going to the usual toddler groups together and the following year they happily started school.

Original poster

rja0702 · 27/02/2025 06:57

user1474315215 · 27/02/2025 06:28

I think you should trust your judgement. My DC were due to start preschool after a house move, which had really unsettled them, and the arrival of a new sibling. They were unusually clingy at home and really struggled at the new pre school. The advice I got from friends and family was to persevere as they'd need to get used to it before they started school. After six very unsettled weeks I withdrew them (luckily I didn't need the childcare as I was on mat leave). We carried on going to the usual toddler groups together and the following year they happily started school.

Thank you for your reply. Glad to hear your son started school no problem.
DD goes to a preschool swim class every Saturday and she absolutely loves it. Hopefully it will just be a case of her settling in.

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Original poster

rja0702 · 07/03/2025 14:40

So DD had another visit at preschool today and refused to set foot in the door and just sobbed.

I feel so upset about this, just really cannot see how it is going to get better before she's due to start next month.

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JustPoet · 07/03/2025 14:44

I have a child with additional needs in pre-school and once he settled in it has been fantastic for him (and us as a family) it’s just one of those things they have to go through. Obviously use your senses as to whether the setting is the right fit, I did move my child from one previous setting to now his current one and couldn’t be happier with my decision.

Original poster

rja0702 · 07/03/2025 16:21

JustPoet · 07/03/2025 14:44

I have a child with additional needs in pre-school and once he settled in it has been fantastic for him (and us as a family) it’s just one of those things they have to go through. Obviously use your senses as to whether the setting is the right fit, I did move my child from one previous setting to now his current one and couldn’t be happier with my decision.

Edited

Thank you for taking the time to comment.

Glad your child is settled in well!

I feel so upset about the situation and can't help but wonder how we are going to change this so she will at least go in. The preschool teacher is ringing me on Monday.
They said they have seen this before but DD is quite extreme with her reactions.

OP posts:

NewName90210 · 07/03/2025 17:30

rja0702 · 07/03/2025 16:21

Thank you for taking the time to comment.

Glad your child is settled in well!

I feel so upset about the situation and can't help but wonder how we are going to change this so she will at least go in. The preschool teacher is ringing me on Monday.
They said they have seen this before but DD is quite extreme with her reactions.

Show quote history

Did they say your child was too extreme with their reactions? That was the tone/wording?

Original poster

rja0702 · 07/03/2025 19:29

@NewName90210

Yes they said they've had children upset before but not to the point of refusing to go in the door 😏

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Sunnydaysatthelaptop · 07/03/2025 19:36

I don't think you can call it until you've tried. My DD was like this last year. She also refused to step foot into school to talk to DS' teachers and refused to interact with anyone at the stay and play session prior to starting. On the first day (last Sept) she was worried but went in and came home stating she loved it and has looked forward to each pre school day since. She's grown so much in confidence since Sept.

NewName90210 · 07/03/2025 19:41

rja0702 · 07/03/2025 19:29

@NewName90210

Yes they said they've had children upset before but not to the point of refusing to go in the door 😏

Personally I wouldn’t send my child where they describe her reactions as extreme having only met her a few times. It isn’t a nice phrasing.

Original poster

rja0702 · 07/03/2025 19:48

Sunnydaysatthelaptop · 07/03/2025 19:36

I don't think you can call it until you've tried. My DD was like this last year. She also refused to step foot into school to talk to DS' teachers and refused to interact with anyone at the stay and play session prior to starting. On the first day (last Sept) she was worried but went in and came home stating she loved it and has looked forward to each pre school day since. She's grown so much in confidence since Sept.

Thanks so much for responding, you've filled me with hope. Did your DD just cry and refuse to go in? That's the way DD has been today. I'm hoping it's normal and she will settle the more we take her

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Hotpinkangel19 · 07/03/2025 20:06

I'm a nursery nurse. We had a child very similar to your daughter start with us. A month later she's a different child, her Mum is so relieved. It happens, they do settle though. I know it's hard.

Original poster

rja0702 · 07/03/2025 20:19

Hotpinkangel19 · 07/03/2025 20:06

I'm a nursery nurse. We had a child very similar to your daughter start with us. A month later she's a different child, her Mum is so relieved. It happens, they do settle though. I know it's hard.

Thank you that's made me feel better! I can totally sympathise with how her mum was feeling. Do you have any tips? Thanks so much x

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Sunnydaysatthelaptop · 08/03/2025 00:39

rja0702 · 07/03/2025 19:48

Thanks so much for responding, you've filled me with hope. Did your DD just cry and refuse to go in? That's the way DD has been today. I'm hoping it's normal and she will settle the more we take her

Show quote history

Yes, prior to starting she would scream and cry. I have no idea why but she was terrified of crossing the doorway. I think I got lucky that on the day she started she didn't react that way.

Original poster

rja0702 · 08/03/2025 06:58

@Sunnydaysatthelaptop hopefully I'm as lucky

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Pinkpanther12345 · 18/10/2025 23:56

Hello OP, just wondering how your little one is doing now at pre school? I’m in a similar boat with my DD to where you were when you posted and highly anxious about it 😬😬😬

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