Adhd in 2.5 year old

[ThatCosyLeader]

Hi there,
a very stressed mom here. My son is 2.5 year old. When he was a baby he would just light up the room with his smile. Was abosolutely everyone’s favourite in the family.
looking up at his baby photos make me cry because his behaviour has become really really rough. he is very intelligent and sweet boy though. Started speaking very early .
but is

• doesnt follow the instructions even though he clearly knows what we are saying to him.
• would hit / poke other children
• easily distractable
• would just run off in the mall. Have to chase him all the time.

life has now become extremely difficult both physically and mentally as i have to always keep an eye on him. Sitting still is a luxury now a days. I know its too early to make a diagnosis but i see other children his age who behave so so well. Always do what they are told . But he just makes me feel so embarrased all the time. And my biggest concern is how is he going to cope at school. Beacuse he just doesnt like sitting still. any advice on how to deal with such a child. Also i read somwhere about omega 3 FAs . Been giving him since a week now but no differnce .

Sounds like my son at that age. He is 4 now and doing much better if that helps!

Life sounds tough for you at the moment but I think 2.5 year olds who ‘behave well and always do what they are told’ are pretty rare.
He has a lot of growing and development ahead of him before he starts school and will probably be a very different little boy again by then.

Did your child also hit/ poke others . Because mine is so unruly and disruptive all the time . Always climbing even when told not to do so. It becomes an utter chaos in the house when there are his cousins around . There is one specific girl he would poke/ hit/ annoy all the time. She is always screaming bcoz of him. We always have to break them apart .

He sounds a bit like my son who is also 2.5 so following! One minute I am concerned and he next I conclude it's normal toddler behaviour. Mine doesn't poke/ hit all the time but he is a biter and I need to watch him like a hawk around others.
I took him to the cinema last week though and actually observed a lot of the other kids were like him unable to sit still and constantly climbing so think it might be normal..

He is 2,5. 2,5 year olds can be little sods. Doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with him. They just need firm boundaries, a lot of growing up to do, praise for good behaviour, consequences for bad and plenty of patience.

My son was a thug. Would push, poke and snatch from other kids. Envied parents at playgroup who could sit and have a cup of tea.
Now he's 18 and the most laid back sociable person. Never heard him swear and I get compliments all the time about what a lovely man he is.
Lots of time outs and chats. He remembers none of this!

@Laylay100 thanks for sharing your experience. But did your child sit at one place when he was told to do so? I am afraid he’s gonna give hard time to his teachers . Also he just can throw anything anytime anywhere. Be it food he is eating if he doesnt like he would just spit it and any toy if he feels like he would just bang it onto the doors/ windows . I have to keep stopping him.

I think it's normal toddler behavior. Sine are more boisterous than others and more into rough and tumble.
What's his sleep like? Lack of need for sleep( extremely so) is an indicator of ADHD as are delayed circadian rhythms ( ie not being remotely tired before about 2am despite no naps.
At this age boundary pushing is a huge huge thing, it's trying to see how much they can get away with which is massively important for development plus potentially enjoying the attention the behavior brings. Running off in shops is highly fun to some children as when you run after them, even if battles ensure, it's seen as a game. Watch him shortly and let him go off ( as long as there's no imminent danger). If you look like you're ignoring him chances are he'll reach a distance limit and come back.
It's very unusual for a child of that age not to be distractible, the world is new, interesting and with talking chances to see how much you can get away with.
By all means monitor and do nicely stop him hurting others, straight away remove him and tell him why. Don't make a saga or if it, be very brief and do get involved with protests.
The specific picking on one girl dies indicate that it's probably an attention and thrill thing, if she's the one who always reacts and results in attention in his direction all round her may well be doing it for that reason.
Is there anything he likes doing and will spend 10-15 mins on? what is he like when eating ( especially something he really likes) etc.
I have one ADHD child now grown up and a very severely affected nephew, neither did the hurting, aart from one two times very early. It was stopped.
One if my other ADHD children didn't hurt either but never slept more than Max 3 hours EVER until she started melatonin. We were like the walking dead. She's climbed since she could first walk and has zero fear( to an abnormal level), she also never ever sat still, couldn't even sit facing the table for maybe 2 minutes even, to eat or play. The up and down, wriggling, climbing, in and if the chair was horrendous. I lost huge amounts of weight with her becauseof not being able to eat and lack of sleep. Looking back I looked terrible.
Find something he likes and see how long it holds his attention. It's a bit if a tell, but bear in mind that In many children of this age have very short attention spans anyway.
I hope that helps, I know exactly how exhausting and wearing it is, unfortunately it's so often a case of riding it out a bit. Nursery again helps for a few hours.

Seeing your last update, take away food or things he throws with minimum reaction, tell him why and remove. Let him yell. If he's not breaking windows let him bang. He'll get really bored and move on if you are ignoring him I suspect. Children if that she will not sit if they are told to, attention span, reaction of theirs and boundary pushing are all reasons potentially.

It's hard but try and see how it goes. I feel for you.

He hasn’t developed reasoning, and many other skills yet, so some of his behaviours will stem from frustration (they don’t call it the terrible twos for nothing!)

It’s really important that you don’t see his behaviour as him forever. Keep reading books on child development, and on strategies to help. Once he learns to articulate himself, the aggression should calm. Until then, it’s kind of up to you to help interpret his needs and verbalise them for him- give him the tools he needs.

Completely normal behaviour for a 2.5 year old boy. They have lots of energy and don't want to sit still. I agree you have to have eyes in the back of your head.

Bizarrely a found the fact I had a couple of large ish mirrors in main living area gave me magically invisible eyes in the back of my head 🤣. A sideways glance whilst I was cooking and I could see exactly what was kicking off and stop it before it started. It was so simple but so easy. Stopping things before the escalate is a game changer. Diversion if a great skill, learning what makes then tick to convince them they want to be doing something else( not the bad things) is the way to go.

My ADHD child did not poke or hit anyone.

I'd say for your son it's likely to be how he is communicating right now. Obviously he needs to be taught new ways, but it should improve when he's more verbal and can express himself another way.

Does he climb a lot? I didn't realise but that was a sign of ADHD in my child.

I do think it's normal to have to keep an eye on a 2.5 year old at all times though. They do need full on supervision at that age.

It's normal (but not welcome) behaviour for a toddler. If he's still like it at 5/6/7 it's more concerning.

Some things that may help-

Low your expectations, focus on discipline the big stuff and let the smaller stuff slide for now so your not constantly telling him off

Make discipline consistent and short say a five minute time out . Do it every time but once it's done move on with your day.

Manage his environment, what triggers him? Try to distract /remove him from situations before they escalate

Don't expect him to manage more than he is capable of

Role model the behaviour you want

Have a consistent routine for meals/bedtime/activities

Prepare him for new experiences

Loads of praise/positive attention

Sounds totally normal??

I think this is pretty normal for his age. Some kids are just harder work than others! I have 2 and they are chalk and cheese. If I'd just had my first, I would have wondered what the fuss was about toddlers... I get it now! Good advice above re praising the good, boundaries, shadowing if you think he might hurt another child so you can intervene before it happens

They don’t call it the terrible twos for no reason