Does anyone else have a DS age 5 like this?

[Chazzzzz]

He is bright and doing well at school )year R), but there's parts of him which I feel make him a little different, I'm not suggesting he's ND (although he could be) but more that he's just got some funny ways.
Examples

• he is very aware of everything going on around him and he HAS to know certain things, like "what was that noise!?", "why did that car do that!?" Like he really must know!
• he watches other children a lot and picks up on how they eat, how they speak etc. he will watch other kids like he's fixated.
• he has issues with going to the toilet, he will hold on until he can't any longer, and seems stressed about the fact he can't control the fact he's going to need a wee multiple times a day.
• he has a wonderful sweet and caring side, but this is more often than not over taken by his hyper focused stressy mode
• he will deliberately argue with us (Mum and dad) and take offence extremely easily about half the time
• We find he is bad mid/end of the school holidays and usually the first week or 2 back after a break, then he seems to relax again
• he is much worse when he's feeling unwell, as I'm sure they all are, but he seems to lack any politeness or ability to speak without moaning when not feeling well
• he has issues with being asked to do something (not all the time but when he is in this mode).

When he's in a good mood, he's just amazing, charming and hilarious, but I feel we see the difficult side more often than not.

Anyone else experience similar?

Some of these I found with my DD in reception, it got better, she's in year 2 now, so I put it down to adjusting to school. I think it was worst in the winter of reception so hopefully your ds will improve.

Allthough, before the half term holiday and adjusting back this week she's been more rude/not listening.

Not all your points but I relate to points 1,3,5,6 and 8. With the toilet she started not drinking much at school then bedwetting in reception and she barely bedwet younger as we potty trained day and night together before 2 and I almost all accidents then were daytime.

School never raised any issues.

She's also sensitive to hand dryers.

Also, she's bright, has learnt to read quickly, was very good at puzzles as a toddler and in challenge groups, so I briefly wonder about Asperger's, which is in my family, BUT... She's very sociable.

Thanks for the insight. DS is also sensitive to hand dryers.

I feel like he's a bit Jekyll and Hyde.
I wonder sometimes if he masks a bit at school.

Yes, I think lots of these traits must be fairly common at this age because no-one has raised any concerns. Her best friend is similarly noise sensitive. They both love Lego.

I misread your point about being bad towards the end of holidays. Mine was worst towards the end of term. Lots of children in my family are a bit like this. My cousin got an autism diagnosis for her son and got some useful support for her to parent him well. So if you feel it would benefit you, you could go down that route but I think the waiting list is long.

Unlike the undiagnosed relatives I suspect of being autistic this relative has been raised being told he's autistic and as a 16 year old doesn't mask the same. And often, masking is a great skill. But maybe his mental health will be better as a young adult. Who knows.

Snding a hopeful bump

I definitely see my 4.5 year old in quite a bit of your description.
Definitely worse at the end and start of half terms! She seems to lose nuance when tired and becomes more black and white and argumentative when tired. Dropping her from 4 to 3 days in after school after the first half term helped.
She's ok with wees but we have issues with getting her to sit and poo even when we know she must need one as her trumps stink and she's had accidents where she hasn't made it in time.

I can't tell you whether it's normal or not. We go back and forth between thinking she's a normal 4-5 year old and wondering whether what we experience with her is something more.

She was a high needs baby and has a lot of food allergies and severe silent reflux. In the summer when we tried the egg ladder she turned into a nightmare and we thought we might have to delay her school start but she went back to being a delight within a week or two.