I’ve been unwell for the past few weeks so I’ve needed extra help from dp with our one year old and around the house.
he usually works 50-60 hours a week so he gets to enjoy the ‘fun’ with our 1 year old in the evenings and on weekends.
i think it’s been an eye opener for him but I could do with some advice on how to kindly change some of his ideas of parenting that I haven’t been happy about.
whenever our 1 year old touches something he isn’t happy about like his phone/tv remote/ keys and he complains baby will break or lose it, I have to remind him he’s 1 and is interested in what they are. He will literally tackle our 1 year old to remove them from him and then be annoyed when he cries and wants me to comfort him. I’ve explained distraction techniques and to let him explore until he loses interest, but he seems intent on ‘teaching him’ immediately if he can do something or not. I know there’s no right or wrong way to do things, but for me I don’t want anything to seem forbidden I’d prefer him to explore with supervision and if he doesn’t want something touched it shouldn’t be within reach.
one year old then accidentally hit dp with a toy and dp had a tantrum that one year old hurt him, as if it was deliberate. He told him off and made him cry. I had to get out of bed whilst feeling weak and dizzy to check one year old was ok, I then brought him in with me because I didn’t feel comfortable.
in general he’s a good dad, he just seems very highly strung and wants to prove a point he can cope, but at the moment he’s just making himself appear horrible and as a result one year old avoids him and prefers being with me now I’m on the mend.
We argued about it because I told him his behaviour is bordering on abusive and he needs to let one year old learn and play, whilst picking his battles. Cue another sulk that I criticised his parenting.
I just don’t know what to do, he wasn’t like this before one year old became active.
Has anyone else’s partners been like this? Short of ending it and being uncomfortable sending baby off to him, I want to nip this in the bud and stop the picking at everything one year old does before he gets older and notices.