Phone use around baby

[ForLoyalCat]

Hi, I am a new mum to a 4.5 month old beautiful boy. During pregnancy, I promised myself that I would use my phone around the baby a minimal amount and be fully present. However, I didn't appreciate to full extent of how much modern life requires a phone.

Tracking feeding and sleeping - done on an app. Baby monitor using WiFi- goes to an app. Contacting childcare provides and lactation support- done online and then on WhatsApp. Messaging friends and thanking for gifts, plus life admin like changing addresses after a recent house move, buying baby supplies online. Etc etc. I am not on social media so I don't feel like anything I'm doing is "mindless" but equally I feel I have to carry my phone to every room I'm in and sometimes the baby tries to get my attention whilst I'm on the phone, but I'm replying to someone urgently. Curious as to how others get this balance right?

The alternative would be to log onto a laptop to do things but that feels more cumbersome and same issue?

Personally I think some of those thjngs are unnecessary, and you won't need others forever.
You don't need to track feeding and sleeping, especially not with an app.
You won't need lactation support forever.

Once your baby settles into a routine they will hopefully have one quite long nap (a couple of hours) and you can get a lot of the admin stuff done then. There were no smart phones when I had my oldest and I did the admin stuff when she was asleep between 12 and 2pm.

The majority of the things you've mentioned could be done without a phone.

Tracking feeding doesn't need an app unless you want one. You've purchased a baby monitor that feeds back to an app but there are ones without. Messaging friends and thanking them for gifts doesn't have to be done when you have the baby with you. Can do this when the baby is sleeping or when someone else is spending time with them.

I personally don't intentionally limit my screen time around my children, I use my phone when I need to, so would have no problem with the above, but if you do, you can alter your lifestyle/routines to suit you.

You don't need the internet to do most of those things like message friends or changing addresses banking etc they can wait until the baby is asleep and you have some time. You'll get it all done quicker then too without distractions.
You won't get this precious special time with your new baby back.
Remember there was a time before internet existed, we did things differently and it worked and while it's helpful now, it can dominate your time and thoughts. Messaging friends isn't urgent unless you have a real emergency you need help with. Put your time with baby first, it's goes by all too soon.

It sounds like you are doing everything immediately. Could you break it down to segments? Say half an hour in the morning, half an hour at lunch then another half an hour in the evening.

Or just do everything at once so one hour in the evening?

I just leave my phone aside until it's nap time, have a pen and paper around to note down admin things on a 'to do' list so you remember to do them when baby is asleep

Put it away and focus on your child. He will only be small once.

I strongly disagree that you don’t need an app for nursing / feeding tracking. My mind was mush in those first few months and I’d forget EVERYTHING. It is definitely what helped me to ensure I could continue BF.

Everything else you mentioned can be done in nap time.

@Anothermathstutor there is a difference between something being useful and something being needed. If an app is necessary for tracking sleeping and feeding then what so you think people did before apps existed?

I stopped tracking feeds once baby was a week old ISH and I felt I was confident with breastfeeding, but each to their own if you like the tracking apps
I just used my phone as she was breastfeeding as she'd usually have her eyes shut or be asleep, or as she contact napped at that age
I did take photos and videos, and maybe reply to messages when she was awake
But she's now 2 and never asks to go on my phone, we don't have the TV one when she's awake so very little screens and it's fine (we watch the gruffalo etc Julia Donaldson shorts) but not on my phone

Baby monitor using WiFi- goes to an app.

Presumably that's when you're not actually around the baby though, it's for when they're sleeping and you've left the room? Because otherwise you wouldn't need the monitor.

The other stuff can all be done while the baby sleeps (apart from tracking feeds but that's just a two second thing I assume?). My DDs both contact napped for months, and I spent so much time on my phone while sitting with them sleeping on me!

I wouldn't worry about it OP. It doesn't sound like you're using your phone excessively at all.

Frankly, 20 years ago, parents would have moments where they aren't present as they wrote letters, paid bills, did all the other admin we now need to do online. It's the way the world is.

I see a big difference between what you're mentioning, and mindlessly scrolling Instagram (although, that said, 4.5 months is a hard and monotonous age I wouldn't blame you if you did do that a little too!)

Stupid comment. Before all the safety rules, babies were fine, but some weren’t.

If I didn’t use the app my baby would no longer be breastfed. Given that breastfeeding is factually better for baby, I think I can accept the 5 mins of use a day.

Most of those things probably only take a matter of seconds or minutes to do, the problem with phones is when it's mindless scrolling for long periods of time.
Does the tracking of feeds really need to be done on app though?

You can do the tracking with a notepad and pen. It's what we did in the 90s before apps. Worked fine. And message your friends/do the admin when the baby sleeps.

Rather an overreaction.

no one is saying you cant track sleeping and feeding if you want to...but you can use a pen and paper (which is what I had to do when I had my first baby in 2004 as there weren't any apps then!)

I had 3 subsequent babies who didn't have any feeds/sleeps tracked and all survived. It's not a safety concern not to track your babies feeds on a phone app.

Indeed.

Although the App developers and the social media influencers they pay to advertise would have you believe otherwise