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Parenting

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Child contact

4 replies

Bubblybrunette · 24/02/2025 12:46

My ex and I have a 16 month old, I have arranged contact between him and daughter through mediation. It was 1 hour twice a week then progressed to 2 hours twice a week. I have tried to increase it but everything I offer is not acceptable. My ex is now saying he can come and take child when he wants as he has 50/50 parenting, which he has. As my child is so young and ex doesn't have much contact - his choice - I have applied for a C100 for a lives with and his contact which he has been served with. He has said he is ok with lives with, but has now changed his job so he now has Thurs, Fri and Sat off - this was done when he recieved C100 - and wants child on those 3 days. I work Mon - Fri and feel he will have 3 days of quality time where I will have only 1. Yes I have her in the days but child is dropped off to childminder at 7.30 and picked up at 5.30, so I do not get quality time with child as I am feeding, changing, bathing or sleeping. I have suggested Thurs and Fri every week, but going through a staggered increase. That way we both get 2 days a week. He has rejected it, no surprise there. Is a judge likely to say this is a fair compromise in court? I do have a solicitor to go to court with. He has never phoned, text or called me in between contact visits. He has had anger management counselling in the past, which I did not know about. He has also had postnatal depression counselling since birth of child. Our child seems happy to see him, but ex has returned child with bumps - which happen - but he has admitted not treating them, the last 1 being at soft play and resulted in a fair bump and friction burn on face, due to going down the slide without ex. I am not saying ex is mistreating child, just not aware of how to deal with accidents.

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 24/02/2025 13:56

Hi there,
Baby has a right to quality time with both parents.
A reasonable suggestion is every other weekend and the weekend he doesn't have baby he cares for baby on Thursday and Friday. So you could aim to build up to

Week one - mum Monday-Friday, day Friday night to Sunday (morning? If he has work, Sunday evening otherwise or even a drop off at nursery on Monday)
Week two - Mon Monday - Wednesday, dad picks up Wednesday evening and drops back to mum Friday evening. Mum has weekend with child.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 24/02/2025 13:57

But you'd need to work up to that. If he's only had two hours experience, first he needs to do whole days including naps for baby to feel comfortable sleeping at his and then add on overnights.

Bubblybrunette · 24/02/2025 14:51

He is now working every Wed, Thurs, Fri and Sat 11am - 9pm, that is why I am suggesting every Mon and Tue starting at 8 - 12 to get used to child's breakfast lunch routine, then after a few months going from 8am - 16pm, then as long as they are both happy then move onto over nights. That way I get Sat and Sun as a weekend and he gets Mon and Tues as his weekend. Obviously when it comes to school time we will have to rethink. I am all for him seeing child and having over night, it just needs to be at child's pace. Thank you for you input though it is a thought going forward.

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Bubblybrunette · 24/02/2025 15:57

He has just told me he has changed his days in work and days off. He likes to play games with me always moving the goal posts when I make arrangements! This is what he has done since chuld was born!

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