Tips on getting 4 year old to go sleep by herslf

[Cm17]

I want to try and change my daughters bedtime routine to bed, story and saying goodnight and let her fall to sleep by herself.
We have always stayed with her until she has fallen asleep so it's 4 years of doing this and although this is generally fine, I would like her now to be able to go to sleep by herself without me or OH having to stay with her the whole time especially as she is starting school this year and would like this to be done before she starts school.

I just don't know the best way around it, I know for a fact that when we say goodnight and walk out she will be out of bed and calling for us constantly so just want to know a nice way around it for her so she feels comfortable and not upset

Following! I'm going through the same with me almost 5 year old dd. Never had this issue with my oldest dcs. I can lay here for an hour some nights.

4 and 5 is old enough to explain frankly why you want them to do this. You are tired and want to go and rest. I recommend a Yoto or Yoto mini if it would help them to have some nice quiet music or a story to fall asleep to. But it's time to just tell her what the new routine will be and follow through with it. Take her back to bed every time she gets up.

The yoto helped my DC go to bed by themselves at that age. At first we would listen together and then we’d say that we just have to nip out for a bit and then come back, sometimes they’d just fall asleep by the time we came back. Eventually they were fine to just go to sleep with it on, most of the time. But I think this also coincided with them (at around age 5) just growing up and not needing us as much for bedtime anymore.

Yea definitely something to listen to, whether that's a Yoto, sone meditation aimed at DC of that age or an audio book.

Mine DD also liked, and still does, a weighted blanket.

When ds was around the same age (think this was something like the May before he started school), the way I managed it was by (re)creating a routine. So instead of

• pj-stories-lie down with him-creep out and pray to all deities he didn't wake up and spot me

It became...

• pj-stories-lie down for a specific time until his sunrise lamp goes out-'daddy's going downstairs to wash up, I'll come back in a minute'-wash up as noisily as possible-come back up to kiss on head-back downstairs to make more noise-repeat until asleep. It took maybe 2 weeks of adjustment but he's now 5 and this routine holds. Most of the time he's conked out by the time I come back up the first time to check on him.

This was quite tailored to my son's personality so it might not work, but creating a new routine really helped him adjust I think. Best of luck, it's made a huge difference to my mental state to take some of the time and stress out of bedtime.