Scared my fussy baby is going to always be this way.

[CleverMrsFox]

I feel like I’m really struggling with my 6 month old, she has always been extremely fussy and difficult ever since she was born and I feel like she’s getting more intense as she gets older. I feel so envious of other mum’s with these nice calm babies and mine is just so angry at the world.

She suffered with Reflux, which has settled since we’ve started weening.

I feel like I spend my days just counting down until the next nap time. She’s extremely difficult to entertain and keep happy, gets very frustrated with anything I do with her and is extremely loud and vocal. She screams and shouts almost constantly which prevents me from being able to think sometimes, I feel like I am not enjoying her, even though I love her so much.
She will only tolerate doing anything for a couple of minutes before getting extremely frustrated and starting to scream and shout.

I can’t put her down, I can’t make food, I can’t shower. I may be lucky and get 5 mins in a bouncer with dancing fruit on for a quick 5 min shower but that’s about it. She has multiple different chairs, a lovely big play mat with activities on, lots of toys, a jumperoo, a piano Matt but nothing keeps her happy.

I’m scared this is just my life now, is she going to be a difficult toddler and child?

I am a single mum, have the support of parents who are fantastic but are older themselves so get tired extremely quickly.

i love her so much but I just feel I’m at a loss with her now.
sleep is horrendous in the night she wakes a lot and is so difficult to settle. She won’t fall asleep independently she will scream and get herself in a right state so I have resorted to contact naps just for the peace and rocking to sleep at night!
We have a consistent bedtime routine but that’s always a hysterical battle.

I feel embarrassed a lot at the way she is like I’m failing as mother and am not satisfying her enough but I don’t know what more I can do. She has my love and attention 24/7 and I am always trying to ensure I do not show her my frustrations and keep a happy/positive attitude towards her but it’s starting to emotionally drain me now.

just wondering if anyone has been through/going through the same thing?

We went through two of our kids who ended up being ND. Reflux is really painful and it's likely she's still not all the way over it. They tend to walk away from reflux. Just keep doing what you're doing to survive. It really will pass.

I often wonder if the reflux still bothers her internally, she can be such a smiley girl at times but then it changes so suddenly. She is my world and adore her but I’m just scared she’s always going to have a frustrated temperament when I feel I’m giving her all of me all of the time.

My fussy baby had a very easy toddlerhood. My easy baby was a menace at 2.

Oh this gives me some reassurance thank you! She’s so clever and I think she’s going to be a very interested and intelligent little girl. She’s always hit milestones early, rolling back to front etc from only 4 months old. I think perhaps a lot of her frustration also comes from not being able to do anything herself yet!

My fussy baby who I posted about in here in despair is now the most wonderful calm, grounded 15 year old.I couldn't ask for a more wonderful kid. There were moments when she was younger when I honestly thought it was a sign that she would never be settled. Hang in there.

My fussy baby is the most delightful child. For 2 and half years (until he could talk) it was awful. Like we've ruined our lives awful. Sleep still wasn't right for a long time after, but it did settle eventually.

Now, he is 12 and brilliant company. Funny. Easy going. A joy to be around. And he was like that from about 3.

There is hope. But right now, it sucks. All you can do is accept every single offer of help. Accept the fussiness. Like a surrender. Keep doing what you're doing.

My children are ND.

My fussy baby was a saint as a toddler.

My chill and cool baby is a menace at 2.

It gets better, hang in there x

First of all, it's really tough having a fussy baby so I hope you're doing ok. I used to look an photos of my friends babies laying on baby gyms wondering how the heck they managed to put their babies down. But I'm another one who's fussy baby is now a lovely toddler! Now he can communicate he's so much calmer. He sits and plays by himself happily. I would be able to have a hot cup of tea if I hadn't had another baby... Who is easy by comparison and now reading the above it looks like I'll get the opposite in toddlerhood!

My kids were like this, my 5yo DD is a delight and my son is 11 months and starting to mellow a bit now he can get around on his own.

the life saver? Babywearing and learning how to back carry in the house. Getting out the house as much as possible. (but keeping it low key, like walks not days out)

My fussy ,stressful ,severe reflux baby was quite tricky until he was about 2.5-3 .
The reflux definitely played a big part in him being so unhappy.He had a huge temper and was quite stressy.
He was a wonderful child ,teenager and now adult.
He does still have problems with indigestion and has had causes of omeprasole over the years.

If my second son was my first, I would never have had two. He was that bad. He's three now and really fun. He's very clever and switched on, I think he just hated being a baby!

I agree with pp who said they had the same sort of baby who turned into an easy toddler and I agree. DD was very similar, very demanding and needed attention all the time. Admittedly I had a partner in the house who was able to help who made it 100% easier (could take over so I could have 30 mins to shower and get ready etc) so really well done for managing by yourself!

It continued until she was about 1 and she was able to walk and help herself to toys etc. as a toddler she's been great - there have been ups and downs but a baby like that could just be really alert to the world, which as a toddler means they're curious and can entertain themselves. It's been wet and rainy here all day and dd has entertained herself since 11am (now 4pm) by playing with all of the toys in her toy box while we get in with things. It pays off in the end.

I in no way mean to minimise what you’re going through, because my baby is similar, and I don’t know how id do it without a dh, but I think you just need to make some new friends. I used to look around at other babies that slept through, didn’t fuss, id meet friends for coffee on mat leave and their baby would sit calmly in the stroller. I mentioned it to my gp when I was there for something else and she said, make new friends. Not all babies are like that and when you compare (because who doesn’t, it’s impossible not to) you think you’re doing something wrong. Babies just have different temperaments like people and you need to find people with similar experiences to you. Fwiw my baby has been quite advanced and I’m sure it’s because she’s always awake and always practicing, whereas other babies are sleeping or calmly sitting.
the only things I’ve found that help are (and you may have tried this all already) the getting out the house as much as possible, low stimulus toys and activities, limited screen time and I’m picky about what she watches, calming music, and really watching the wake windows and planning things to fit in with them. (Eg I could never pop to the toilet an hour before nap time, but two hours before I can normally get away with if she’s suitably distracted and I’m quick)
it absolutely will get easier, but I’m sorry it’s so tough right now.

My DD was exactly the same. She was feisty as a toddler (and also very sweet) and an absolute angel from about the age of 4. Such a sweetheart.
As my mum said, some kids are difficult babies but it doesn't mean they'll be difficult children.

Thank you, yes I have just accepted that she is this way. I do my up most to ensure I stay happy and positive towards with the will of ‘it’s just a phase’ getting me through. It’s just been a very long 6 months so far haha!

Thankyou, if it wasn’t for my parents I definitely would have struggled a lot more with my mental health I think.
The strength of my love for her is what tends to power my days but boy they are hard!

I try to get out every day with her, to break the day up. I live in the country, so unfortunately for me it’s very weather dependent and this wet weather is making it hard to get out with her!

My reflux allergy baby didn't get diagnosed until 8 months, she had a barium swallow at that age and was put on omeprazole and it was like a different baby (the allergies we had resolved by 6 months through trial and error but had confirmed at 7months)

Also totally agree that they get frustrated they can't do anything, once they can move and communicate (even just dragging you around and pointing I don't mean whole sentences) they chill out a bit

I live in quite a remote area. Sl am quite limited with groups etc which my already group are attending, by no means do they all have it simple. One of my friends sons is very calm but has health issues. So I appreciate we all have different babies.

I don’t tend to do screen time this young. But sometimes 10 minutes gets me a shower at least! So I have to take my win where I can.
We get out most days, however there isn’t much ‘indoor’ places to go round by me and I live on the coast so it’s very weather dependent. I find the stuck inside days the most challenging and I spend most my day bobbing around singing and dancing just to keep her amused as she hates anything else.

I do the best I can with it being just myself but sometimes i need to grab a drink or make a snack as I’m hungry and she tends to get extremely cross with me when I do these things!

I tried omeprazole but it made her worse, despite a lot of people saying it made their baby totally different! Pediatric dietician doesn’t think she has an allergy as she’s otherwise very healthy, gaining all the weight she needs etc. I’ve always had a wonder in the back of my mind though. She’s formula fed as I was unable to BF due to personal reasons so it’s not a cutting out my diet option sadly!

hopefully once she’s on the move she will be much happier. Thank you

Hoping she just hates being a baby!!

My DD was exactly the same, I could have written this. It DID get easier but I'll be honest and say she is still a highly strung toddler at 2.3. However with each milestone it got easier, walking was a game changer. I still don't get a lot of time where she plays independently but that is getting better every day. She's also incredibly loving and chatty. Hang in there OP.

Apologies if I've missed this but do you have any family support? A night away in a hotel would do you a world of good. X

Thank you, I’m glad it got easier for you.

I have support but limited, I doubt sadly a night away would be possible for me.

My son was like this for the first couple of years (sorry). So fussy, whiny, screamy. He seemed to become overstimulated so quickly and needed constant naps. We even took him to Great Ormond St because it was so bad. They couldn't find a cause and said it was just "behavioural". Then, when he hit 2, his personality transformed and he became the most relaxed, easygoing, chilled out little boy who would play happily on his own for hours. That's continued, and he's the same at 10. I still think of those exhausting days trying to placate him and breathe a sigh of relief that now he's such a delight.

Back carrying for me African style was a saviour for me. So cheap and easy too plus great exercise

She sounds very like my DS as a baby. Had reflux and colic, never slept and just cried and shouted at me all day every day. I was constantly in tears from it all.

He walked at 10 and a half months and he transformed literally overnight into a happy, laid back boy. He still didn't sleep but was a delight to be around during the day.

He was an unbelievably easy toddler, had two tantrums in total I think. Parenting him has been an absolute doddle. He is now 9 and such a well behaved and lovely child.