Tips for weaning autistic toddler

[BlueberrySmoothies]

DS is almost 2 and I’m ready to start the process of fully weaning him. My plan was to wait until he had more of an understanding and so I was hoping I could support him and gradually reduce breastfeeding in a gentle way. He is delayed with his communication and has very limited understanding so I don’t know if this will be a possibility, or how long we would need to wait until he is at that point.

He is not a good sleeper and never has been so I cosleep and nurse him throughout the night. He wakes at least four times a night sometimes much more. Breastfeeding is the only thing that settles him. We strongly believe he is autistic and he is going to be reviewed for the second time by the community paediatrician when he is 2, when we expect he will get a referral for an assessment down the line. Having done a bit of research into weaning autistic children, it seems there can be more challenges in doing so for various reasons. I’m very worried his sleep will be even worse after weaning as he will be harder to settle, but I know it needs to be done eventually!!

Looking for any advice from anyone who has successfully weaned a toddler with ASC and limited understanding please… it feels really daunting and want to take the best approach possible, thank you!

Mine weren't diagnosed at that stage and so didn't have the limited comprehension issue but we coslept and extended breastfed.

We stopped cosleeping around 18 -
20 months. Which stopped night feeds. We found going to sleep hard but they stayed down once they were off. For us new bed, and bits for the room made it a fun thing. We would also climb in the cot bed and cuddled up too and an insane regime of sleep cues.

Then we were on to day feeds only. We started delaying and distracting to leave it longer. I was tandem feeding also so delays were inevitable.
I wasn't in a rush to stop so took it really slowly. (Which helped with supply decreasing too/ avoiding mastitis.) My supply did go down and I went out a few times so could nurse the next day which broke it up and as supply dwindled one lost interest and one would have kept going but was more easily distracted and when the milk was gone they were annoyed at first but soon lost interest.

My friend went away for a weekend and when she returned she let LO latch (also ASD and toddler) but there was no milk. She let them try a few times and they got bored.

Neither of these is quite like your situation though but wanted to share and support.

There comes a point when they forget how to latch anyway so try not to worry about if they don't understand now as this could still happen in the future and they will get past it. Good luck

@TumbledTussocks thanks very much for sharing your and your friends experience it’s really helpful to hear what has worked for others. This week I’m dropping the day feeds first as he really never looks for it but will feed if offered. Then I think I will try to move onto the feeds during the night that resettle him but still let him have his feed before going to sleep. And then eventually move onto cutting out the last feed to go to sleep.
Day feeds won’t be an issue but I know the night feeds will be really hard for him to lose. I honestly don’t know what his sleep will be like! He also gets really upset I try to comfort him in other ways at night and it becomes distressing for both of us. Some people have said weaning helped their LO sleep for longer stretches at night but then I read stories of people with autistic children who barely sleep, which is what has me worried! Guess there’s only one way to find out really

@BlueberrySmoothies My son is 5 now and hopefully will have his assessment this year after the process was started at his 2.5 year HV review.

My son also fed to sleep and I was really nervous to wean because his sleep was awful and he had massive separation anxiety/was extremely attached to me.

However at 22 months I just couldn't take it anymore, all efforts to gently wean or gradually cut down had failed and I just wanted to stop. So I went against everything the FB /BF groups stand for... I made a plan and followed through -

One Saturday morning my husband managed to take him straight down for breakfast. When I came downstairs and DS went to feed he was met giant plasters on both my boobs and I gently explained they had "broken" - but we could still have a cuddle and he could even hold a boob if he needed to. But they were definitely broken 🤣

It was actually OK! We'd planned - extra snacks, his favourite meals, trips out (we mostly only fed a home anyway) At bedtime we'd warned our neighbours bec we were so nervous about it, but although it took a bit longer and he cried a bit, it was nowhere near as bad as we'd expected. We decided against getting DH to do it as I was worried he'd see loosing bf = losing mom time because of how he processed stuff so we kept everything The same just with a cuddle instead of feeding. The first night wakes was tough, I ended up bringing him down and he fell asleep holding me watching hey Duggee, but after that we were fine.

I did keep the plasters (putting fresh ones on) for a good few weeks and he went through a BIG phase of holding my boob which we had to work on quite a bit. But I felt SO much better and he was still a very happy boy.

@FiveWhatByFiveWhat sorry for the slow response I missed this! Thanks so much for this, what a great idea. I think my son would need an approach with this with a very simple reason and visual cue with the plasters - I’m so glad it went well and he adapted quickly after that first tough night.

I had started to stop day feeds completely other than nap time but we had a set back as he was ill and didn’t want to eat and just wanted to be breastfed so we’re back to cutting out the day feeds again this week. When we get to the night feeds I think I’ll be using this for idea and fingers crossed DS can adapt quickly too! Thanks x