Need handhold - eldest loves Granny more

[LadyJos]

Hi - I feel like this sounds really pathetic but I need a handhold. My four year old daughter (and eldest) has always had a beautiful relationship with her granny (my mum).

On the whole I have loved this. But in some ways I've felt quite inadequate and this has gone on since her birth. My mum (probably to do with her own insecurities) also rubs it in. I've often wondered/thought that she is the better 'mother.'

Anyway as my daughter gets more articulate she's been able to say things like "I wish I lived with granny and grandad" and "mummy you must try to be as nice as granny." She recently said she wished granny had birthed her and was her mum.

It's breaking my heart. Is this normal? Does anyone out there love their granny more than their mum?

Is it because Granny gets to do the fun stuff with her, while you’re doing the tough actual parenting. So a good cop / bad cop thing? That’s what I’ve noticed with my DD.
With regards to your DD, I think all you can do is continue trying to not let it bother you. I don’t see any other option. Things will change over time. And one day you may well look back and be so grateful for their relationship.
Really not nice of your mum to rub it in though. That’s the problem here, not your DD.

Your 4 year old used the word "birthed"? Ok then....
Anyway this sort of thing is normal, your child doesn't love her grandparents more than you. She loves you unconditionally and being able to say things like that to you means she is very secure in your love for her.
Sometimes when my DDs were little and I had to tell them off or say no to something they would announce that I was mean and they wanted to go and live with their grandparents - they didn't mean it!

So normal and actually my four year old actually said this week ‘mama who borned me’ he was very unimpressed when I said it was me and said I wish granny had borned me! They get to be the fun ones and we have to be the parents I really wouldn’t be upset by this but nor would I feed it ‘oh that’s lovely darling let’s go and do some painting’