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Parenting

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Original poster

Struggle with Fridays

9 replies

Porvendo · 21/02/2025 21:54

I work compressed hours 4 days in 5 Monday to Thursday so that On Fridays I can be with my 22 month old DC.

I appreciate the flexibility but in practice I still end up checking emails on Fridays and doing a few bits. I had feedback last year that I was too 'rigid' with my compressed hours so now I end up checking in more over Fridays and even weekends sometimes.

The end result is I dread Fridays and don't really feel present enough with DC. I'm also finding this age very challenging - they're just a normal toddler but I feel so ill equipped and burnt out and I'm not 'enjoying' it like I should. Today I barely had the energy for any of it and was relieved when it was nap time.

I see mothers speak about how they can't bear to be apart from kids etc but I spend Fridays and weekends counting down to bedtimes so I can have a rest.

I feel like I'm just wishing it all away and not enjoying any of it. No family nearby so can't rope them in. DH is very hands on and defo does his fair share

It's not as simple as finding another job. I need the flexibility and salary but just wish I could learn to switch off and be more present

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PurBal · 21/02/2025 22:04

Compressed hours is tough. I tried it for family reasons for a while but I couldn't do it. I was exhausted. You're allowed to be strict with your time though, you have other commitments. If you can't reduce your hours (which I'd recommend) can you change your day off? I find a midweek day much easier. Work doesn't get left for 3 days at a time and nor are you facing 3 solid days with the little people (I have a 3.5yo and 20mo). I have Thursdays off and Friday feels like an interlude in my long weekend.

teachermummyme · 21/02/2025 22:08

What do they mean when they say you're being too rigid with your compressed hours? If you're working a normal week's worth of hours in the four days (which is what I understand compressed hours to be) then why should you be expected to be checking in on your day off? They shouldn't expect it any more than they'd expect a 'normal' employee to be working on a weekend. Whatever the set up, if you've worked the hours you're being paid for there should be no expectation to do anything above that, regardless of if your working week is structured such that you are not working on a day that the rest of the office is in.

Original poster

Porvendo · 21/02/2025 22:09

That's a good idea, I think I'm going to have to try something different and midweek could work well. It is so exhausting right now and I have so much mum guilt

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gettingthehangofsewing · 21/02/2025 22:15

Yeah Wednesday might work better so there's a break rather than three days in a row. I wouldn't do work ion you day off though. That's your time

ACR7 · 22/02/2025 06:38

I work compressed hours. 7-5 Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. I never check emails on my Wednesday off. Plus not too tired as only ever 2 days in a row in. Maybe move the day you have off see if it helps.

DappledThings · 22/02/2025 06:54

This is a problem more with your workplace than anything else. Lots of my team work compressed hours, mostly a 9 day fortnight but some a 4 day week. Everyone is encouraged to and being strict about those hours is what you're meant to do. Nobody is meant to check anything on their day off.

Have you gone back to your manager and asked for clarity on that feedback? If they have agreed to a 4 day week that is what they should be encouraging. Suggesting you check in on a Friday is really poor from them and that's where you need to be challenging.

HongKongFinish · 22/02/2025 06:55

I used to do compressed hours when mine were younger and also preferred the day off mid week as like others, it was nicer to just work 2 days in a row. It suited my employer too, because they saw it as me being off for 1 day rather than 3 in a row ( even though it's the same hours!).
However, I think your employer is wrong to expect you to do work related things on your days off. I wouldn't be logging on to check emails etc. Presumably other staff don't do this on their days off either?

Phunkychicken · 22/02/2025 07:04

I had horrific, and I mean really horrific PND/PNA and thought there was no way I could go back to work. Turns out working 5 days was just the best thing for me and my DCs. I loved and trusted their nursery and they got far more out of it than I could give them. So they were far more fulfilled than if they'd been at home with me, and I could achieve stuff at work and feel like 'me' again.

I just wish someone had said this could be a thing when I was first ill as I spent the whole mat leave in a state. And I feel no shame at all at saying being home was too much. DH then went part time and loved being off with the kids.

Maybe, therefore try five days a week working, so you can just focus on work. Could your DP condense their hours instead?

moleeye · 22/02/2025 07:14

I did the same, in the end I had to go PT and drop Fridays completely as it was exhausting. I know financially it's not doable for everyone, but it meant I didn't feel guilty not checking my emails etc on a Friday. Mine are both primary age so I've gone back full time.

I found age 2-3 the toughest, it is absolutely brutal. The anger, frustration, tantrums and them dropping naps and fighting sleep but needing it makes for a tough time!

Sending hugs

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