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Parenting

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Anxiety/Overwhelm about bedtime with my 15 month old

3 replies

happyhomemaker1 · 21/02/2025 19:42

Looking for advice, tips or just some solidarity that I’m not just going a bit mad.

I solo parent very regularly (husband is in the army) and we have a 15 month old who generally sleeps well but has had some very disrupted sleep recently with teething/illness/generally being 15 months!

I’ve started getting so much anxiety and dread about the nights on my own - worrying that he’s not going to sleep and feeling really stressed and panicked if he wakes up. I keep finding myself just breaking down in the middle of night if I’m having to settle him and feeling like I can’t cope.

Does anyone else feel like this or have any tips for managing anxiety/overwhelm on very little sleep?

OP posts:
Lostworlds · 21/02/2025 19:57

I feel like this, especially nights when my dh is working. I’ve put it down to just feeling completely exhausted myself and needing a break. On nights my youngest is particularly bad, I’ve started taking him into bed with me. He will fall asleep quite happily and then I put tv on and relax and thankfully he doesn’t wake!

FiveWhatByFiveWhat · 21/02/2025 20:05

@happyhomemaker1 deep breaths. It's hard but you'll be ok. Toddler sleeping is very erratic because there's always something going on.

You aren't falling, your child isn't doing it deliberately, you aren't doing things wrong, you aren't letting anyone down, your child won't be damaged by a few bad nights or being held to sleep or you stepping away for 5 minutes if you need to. Trust me I've thought all of these.

My son is 5 and still has bad nights (he's autistic it turns out). As a toddler is was awful. Not just general toddler awful, I'm talking 4 hour split nights, starting his day at 4.45am for a year and a half and fighting naps kind of awful. People thought because he wasn't a baby anymore he "should" be sleeping through and didn't understand.

I'm not saying this to freak you out, but to say although it was hard, we're all still here. I can actually look back now and laugh at how ridiculous it got at times. But it wasn't funny when it was happening.

I wish I'd relaxed more and took less notice of what people thought. He just needed some extra support. Still does but it's easier now he's older. Some nights he'll even say "thanks for being up with me when my head is busy" 🥰

On the days when you're shattered try and get some rest when you can. Go to bed early, as soon as he's asleep some nights if you can. Don't Google toddler sleeping on your phone, just watch TV or read or enjoy the quiet.

One thing that did help (and still does when we're having a rough patch) is just really looking at your little one and thinking we'll, you know what, there's worse ways/reasons to be awake at stupid o clock.

Stay strong op. You've got this. Get yourself a hot chocolate and a cream egg once he's asleep tonight. Xx

happyhomemaker1 · 21/02/2025 20:57

FiveWhatByFiveWhat · 21/02/2025 20:05

@happyhomemaker1 deep breaths. It's hard but you'll be ok. Toddler sleeping is very erratic because there's always something going on.

You aren't falling, your child isn't doing it deliberately, you aren't doing things wrong, you aren't letting anyone down, your child won't be damaged by a few bad nights or being held to sleep or you stepping away for 5 minutes if you need to. Trust me I've thought all of these.

My son is 5 and still has bad nights (he's autistic it turns out). As a toddler is was awful. Not just general toddler awful, I'm talking 4 hour split nights, starting his day at 4.45am for a year and a half and fighting naps kind of awful. People thought because he wasn't a baby anymore he "should" be sleeping through and didn't understand.

I'm not saying this to freak you out, but to say although it was hard, we're all still here. I can actually look back now and laugh at how ridiculous it got at times. But it wasn't funny when it was happening.

I wish I'd relaxed more and took less notice of what people thought. He just needed some extra support. Still does but it's easier now he's older. Some nights he'll even say "thanks for being up with me when my head is busy" 🥰

On the days when you're shattered try and get some rest when you can. Go to bed early, as soon as he's asleep some nights if you can. Don't Google toddler sleeping on your phone, just watch TV or read or enjoy the quiet.

One thing that did help (and still does when we're having a rough patch) is just really looking at your little one and thinking we'll, you know what, there's worse ways/reasons to be awake at stupid o clock.

Stay strong op. You've got this. Get yourself a hot chocolate and a cream egg once he's asleep tonight. Xx

Thank you so much xx

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