Looking for some advice, my daughter’s father recently started seeing someone, when we separated we agreed we would let the other one know when our new partner would be meeting our daughter. I spoke to him about this and let him know, instead of speaking about his concerns in a mature way he came across as very demanding and rude- this was around new partner not bathing her or sleeping in the same bed- which I 100% agree on this is something I would never allow until further down the line. He said he wanted kept in the loop about sleeping arrangements when on holiday, again this was absolutely fine- as her father he has a right to express his concerns I just wished he done it a little nicer.
In December he advised me he had been seeing someone for 3 months, I said that’s great happy for you etc just if she’s meeting our daughter I’d love to meet her first (he was given this opportunity too), he agreed this was fine however my daughter met her without my knowledge. He said it was an accident as she (new partner) turned up at his house with something, I said that’s fine but would be great to meet her as I know nothing about her. She then met my daughter a few more times which I learned from my daughter. i addressed this and since I have met her just to say hi when he was collecting our daughter.
my daughter told me yesterday that they stayed at new partners house and she slept in bed with both her dad and his partner, she also advised me that they bathed her together.
I fully understand I don’t have any right/or say who he has around her however I’m really upset and uncomfortable by this, he was very nasty when voicing his concerns and said at the time it it was the other way around he’d keep me informed, however this has not been the case.
I have no issue with my daughter being around the partner however I do in regards to bed sharing and bathing this early on, my daughter is still forming a relationship with this person and she is still very young.
Am I being out of order for feeling this way?