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Toddler shared bedroom problems

3 replies

MissM94 · 20/02/2025 16:30

Hi, I'm just wondering if someone can help, DC1 and DC2 share a bedroom, DC1 is 3 in May & DC2 is nearly 14 months - 19 month age gap. They have shared a room from DC2 being around 10/11 months, for the first couple of months all was well, both went to bed at the same time, both would get changed in the kids room and then one of us would take DC2 into our room for the bedtime feed then be put in their cot when asleep, DC1 will either be asleep already or on the way. If DC2 happened to wake through the night, a quick bum pat would send her back and DC1 wouldn't even flinch. Roll round to the current day and DC1 has been sleeping in our bed since New Year's Day 🫠 DC2 does a slight cry or makes a little noise while she's sleeping and it sets DC1 off, which then results in him being awake a couple of times before we eventually give up and tell him to get in our bed because he cries that loud it wakes DC2 up 😩 when he wakes up crying he says she was crying or being too loud but some times she's genuinely not even made a sound. Could DC1 be using DC2 as an excuse not to sleep in his bed? DC1 has never co slept so has never seen our bed as somewhere for him, we've tried co sleeping when he was going through a stage of night wakings but it never worked, he always just saw our bed as playtime. I'm not one to refuse my child any sort of comfort but when he's walking into our room at 10/11pm when it's mum and dads time (if you know what I mean) then it's just a little bit of a problem. We have a baby gate on top of the stairs and close the kids bedroom at night but DC1 can open it. What can I do? 😩 I've tried reward charts and stickers, I've tried good old bribery.. I'm at a complete loss, he even has a bed tent on to make him think he's in his own sort of world but it doesn't work either. He's in a toddler bed, he has been since May last year when he just turned 2 as he was climbing out of his cot. He transitioned really well and absolutely loved going to bed. Any tips/advice would be greatly appreciated.. thank you x

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MissM94 · 20/02/2025 16:33

Sorry just to add - before he was waking up not long after bedtime, he was coming in our bed through the night and climbing in, we wouldn't even feel him. Then he would just walk in our room when we had just got into bed but now it's just full on cries a couple of times after going to bed around 20 mins apart and then on the third time we put him in our bed then come up to bed ourselves not long after

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Mrsttcno1 · 20/02/2025 16:34

I think kids of this age really will always benefit from their own space, they can be loud at night even if not fully awake and both can have such fragile sleep that anything can wake them. Even now my 10 month old is noisy in her sleep to the point it would be waking me up if she was still in our room, so I can imagine it would be the same for a toddler

MissM94 · 20/02/2025 17:03

@Mrsttcno1 thank you for your advice, if I had the space to allow him his own space, it would 100% be happening.. we have a 2 bed and I didn't think it would be an issue. He slept through her screams for the first 2 months but now little noises wake him, it's a strange one

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