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Parenting

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3 kids

2 replies

Thefancypigeon · 20/02/2025 14:50

I’m looking for advice from mums of 3 kids (or more!) or parents of kids with additional
needs who may have been in a similar situation.

I have 2 kids (a 3 year old and a 1 year old). Our 3 year old has a rare genetic condition which means that developmentally she is similar to that of an 11 month old (just starting to stand, no speech etc). She will have a learning disability, and shows a lot of behaviours similar to those seen in autism. She a wonderful little kid, very happy, chilled and sweet.

Since having our youngest child, we have really loved watching their relationship develop. They get along so well, and it’s particularly beautiful to see how much our youngest has boosted our eldest’s development (teaching her to crawl etc). Don’t get me wrong it can be tough with 2 young kids at similar stages but we love it. Our youngest is bold and fun and has been such a wonderful addition to our family.

My question is that we are debating having a 3rd child. I’ve always wanted 3 and I feel like it would be lovely to have a bigger family. I’ll be honest I like the thought of their being more people around after we are gone to look out for our eldest (but fully recognise this is not our other children’s responsibility or job). However I’m worried it wouldn’t be fair to add another child in to the mix where our eldest may need more support as she gets bigger. I am a SAHM so they get all my attention but there are only so many hours in the day and I know 3 kids is a lot to handle regardless of additional needs. I’m 40 so i can’t sit on it unfortunately!

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 20/02/2025 15:20

I wanted another before it was clear that our eldest has a genetic mutation.

Me and DH were saying the other night how we're glad we never went for the third DC and how the marriage probably wouldn't have lasted. It's been tough Flowers

Organisedwannabe · 20/02/2025 15:31

I only have two so I hope you don’t mind me commenting. I’ve found since they’ve both started school it feels like there is so little time with them and it’s harder to fit in the 1:1 time, hmk, reading, daily physio. I’m a sahm so I do all the school runs and their is no after school care taking away our time but the oldest does some clubs.

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