Impossible to reason with ex partner

[Crazylife38]

Hi all so my ex and I split 5month ago he was consistent with our boy but then as soon as he met his new gf he stopped she's alot younger and has expressed she has no interest in his kids or likes them regardless of that she refuses to be around them so he has seen his son on his own , i am trying to co parent with him but im sick of his outbursts at me and talking to me like dirt when I try to set days with him , he is even missing his sons birthday because as he said ' he deserves a holiday ' he just rocks up when he feels like it and when iv discussed set days he refuses now I'm thinking of going down the legal route for set days , has anyone else done this or know the options ?

Courts won't enforce contact, they will only order that the primary carer must make the child available for contact at the set times. There's no obligation for him to then turn up.
Mediation might be the better option, and keeping things as calm as possible. So if he cancels contact, rather than understandably showing that it's annoyed you just keep it as a neutral "oh that's a shame, DS was looking forward to seeing you, he's free on Sunday or Tuesday evening if either would work for you instead?"
The more amicable you can keep things the better it is for DC, and if he's messing around contact to irritate you then it will also hopefully reduce that element.

@OwlInTheOak thank you , I always be as amicable as possible but he seems to enjoy calling me a clown etc which I don't rise to , the other Sunday he kicked off. Kicking my doors in threatening me and spat at my window , so I try now to limit any conversation with him other than regards to our ds as you don't get a civil conversation just name called

Call the police and report him every time he's violent ot abusive. Get a doorbell camera so it records his outbursts.

In future only communicate with him via a parenting app like out family wizard. Dint block him because if he continues to abuse you it can be used as evidence.

A court won't enforce contact. He doesn't have to see the child.