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Very few rsvp to kids 9th birthday party

10 replies

Paranoidandroidmotherbot · 18/02/2025 18:07

Looking for some advice. My son hasn't asked for any birthday gifts this year, only a party. While he's attended lots of parties, I've put off throwing one as I have really severe anxiety. But as it's all he's asked for, I decided to throw one this year.

Invites went out to 35 kids 2 weeks ago with an RSVP date. The party is still 3 weeks away, he's only had 4 responses saying they'll come. He needs a minimum of 10 at the venue.

In the meantime, parents are sending him invites to their kids parties but not mentioning his. It's hard not to feel resentful. I don't want to guilt parents into bringing their kids but I feel it lacks etiquette sending these invites with rsvp dates but ignoring ours? Would it be too crass of me to reply asking them if their kids are coming to my sons party?

I'm so worried about this. He's such a sweet kid. In his words. It's kind to go to parties, it would be bad if no one went... yet I'm faced with the very real possibility his own party will be shutdown because we don't have enough attendees!

He's a cusp baby (born on March) which means he's constantly switching between classes at his school, sometimes he's in the younger class sometimes the mixed older class, depending on the split. This is making it difficult for him to maintain a best friend too.

Does anyone have any advice? I'm losing sleep over this.

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mindutopia · 18/02/2025 18:15

Yes, just follow up with people. You don’t need to be rude about it, but just say, thanks for the invite. Little Johnny would love to come to Xavier’s party. Just checking you got our invite as well for the 10th. Would he like to come? xx

The time leading up to half term is very busy and 9 year olds mostly look after their own stuff. I would bet that a lot of parents won’t find the invite until they go to clear out bags on Sunday night for Monday.

That said, you didn’t book it for an awkward date like Mother’s Day, did you? Because that could explain the slow responses while people try to figure out if they have plans or not.

Paranoidandroidmotherbot · 18/02/2025 18:26

Thanks. Sometimes just need an unbiased opinion to let me know if my reactions are reasonable or anxiety based and OTT.

The date is just a regular Saturday. Nothimg special or any big local events that weekend. I kinda went back to see what was common on the parties he attended and they were mostly Saturdays late morning to early afternoon. So that's what I booked thinking it would be easier for parents.

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Bosabosa · 18/02/2025 18:29

Hi I would chase parents, most would welcome you reminding them! I definitely appreciate it. I often have to chase parents and no one (seems to) mind

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Nowthereistwo · 18/02/2025 18:32

Do you have a class WhatsApp group?

If it's an 'all class' party the invites go on the group as most people dont check bags.

If its a smaller party then the parent creates a party group to share the details

TizerorFizz · 18/02/2025 18:37

35 is loads! Just send a polite reminder. Mention the date you need to firm by. It’s not rude not to go to a party if dc are doing sport or have other things on. Dc rarely can get to every party. We had Sunday’s usually.

loveyoutothemoonandtosaturn · 18/02/2025 18:38

Honestly, people are rubbish at RSVPing to parties in my experience. Also I think that you've sent them out very early, if I got an invite for a party 5 weeks away I'd probably set it to the side and think I'll reply closer to the time. A lot of people won't know if they're free then or not. Absolutely follow up, no one will mind if you text just to confirm numbers!

Paranoidandroidmotherbot · 18/02/2025 18:41

Unfortunately not. Most of the parents work so kids are dropped off and picked up by aunts/ grans/ grandads etc.

I only have contact details for 3 of the parents that I got in person (these parents have already rsvp) Any other contacts I have are through party invites I received. So I'll only be able to chase up a few more parents not the whole class.

OP posts:
Laralou999 · 18/02/2025 18:44

Invites get lost, but with 35 sent out you’d think some managed to make it! Definitely chase up, hope your son has a wonderful birthday x

WhisperingTree · 19/02/2025 21:13

If you have party invites before, you must have contact details of those parents. I would send a message to all you got contact with saying you have put an invite via the school but in case it’s lost, the date and venue of the party is blah. Also please RSVP by a date. Don’t worry about it being rude. If your boy got invites, then he’s popular enough to have kids wanting to come to his party.

fingerbobz · 19/02/2025 21:15

Dont send out hard copy invites

It's all done on WhatsApp

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