When does the toddler stage get easier?

[Ovulationstation]

I have a 22 month old DD who i love to bits, but wow, I am finding it tough right now. Expecting my second child and some days I question our decision to throw another one into the mix.

She attends Nursery for 2 days a week, and she is with me for the remaining 3 days. It's hard to come up with activities, and when we go out just the two of us, she insists on being carried by me and throws the mother of all tantrums if I don't. I do carry her for a little bit, but it's becoming increasingly difficult with the growing baby bump. She does have quite bad separation anxiety if I leave the room, so I know she just likes being close to me, but I'm finding it really hard to leave the house with her on my own as I physically cannot carry her anymore. Does anyone know how I can encourage her to walk or go in her pram rather than be carried? When she's with her dad or grandparents she's fine walking, it's just when I'm there.

I do know that it's totally normal for kids to throw wild tantrums, but I didn't realise how irrational they can be over the smallest things. Please tell me it gets easier soon 😅

She's doing it with you because you give in and carry her. I would just refuse to carry her. You're pregnant, you need to look after yourself.

I never carried my child once he could walk. The choice was walk, buggy or, after 2 years old, scoot or cycle. Now he's 3 and a half and he walks, scoots or cycles everywhere. He never had a choice.

It got quite a lot better in sixth form.

I'd let her tantrum. In public, whatever, don't care what people think. She needs to learn.

You might have a c section and won't be able to pick her up for a looooooong time and that will be even worse as she might blame the baby for it. About 6 weeks after my c section, a friend came over with her 18 month old and I tried to pick her up briefly (she was reaching for something dangerous) and I couldn't. I just couldn't, my back was still in pieces.

@Yourethebeerthief you are right, I've always just done it. Think I've always just taken the easy road when she's kicked off & made it hard for myself.

@MagentaRavioli 😅😅

@FirstTimeMum881 yes, I need to just let her tantrum. I think it's always the parents that notice it more than anyone else, I guess it's just not an enjoyable experience when we're out and she's screaming but I need to get used to it. Didn't even think about the possibility of a section, you're right need to try stop it.

Depends what you think the easy road is. Quite honestly, once my son could walk I wanted to stop the carrying before he got too heavy. By 2 he was absolutely solid built. He looks small but he's so heavy.

Short term pain for long term gain. If you're confident about it and totally unbothered by tantrumming (even if you're seething inwardly) she'll pick up on that strength from you quickly and realise it's pointless fighting it. Kids tantrum when they know it gets to their parents. My son doesn't even waste his energy.

For us it definitely got better just after 2 (she’s now 2.5) and I for the most part enjoy being out and about with her and she listens so much more- I think what changed is the level of communication she understands e.g I can explain what we’re doing/where we’re going,I can distract her with games like pointing out what we can see, colour of cars or just bring snacks/book/toys that feels a novelty for her in the buggy (as a distraction.)I hope I don’t jeinx things now 😅 but I guess like all things it’s phases which could change again soon. I do remember mine being at the peak of separation anxiety similar time too though!

When is your second due OP? Have you thought much about how you’ll get around when they arrive? Only asking as it might influence what you could choose to do now!

My two are exactly two years apart and the eldest loved going on the buggy board or being pulled along on a scooter from when the youngest was born - we started trialling these for shorter journeys in the month or so before the baby was born and it has worked a treat since. I still shove the buggy board under the pram for him to use if we are walking for several miles.

Number three is due next month so I’ve been getting the youngest (20m) used to the buggy board, too. Don’t think she’s quite ready for the scooter yet.

Though am also a soft touch and often resort to sticking someone on my shoulders - for some reason I find this much easier than trying to carry on my hip whilst heavily pregnant!

Just put her in the pram and let her get on with it.. yes she'll tantrum but will soon learn. If she wants yo get out and walk great, but then it's back in the pram, not being carried